Ep. 15: A Sugar Daddy Relationship

This week, Emily has a gift for Dan. Things go crazy during WTF headlines and the crew dives into some conspiracy theories. Wrapping up the show, Dan introduces a new game called Fake News, where Emily has to distinguish between fact or fiction. 

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Hey, guys, welcome back to My Kajiggers. Dan and Emily, we've got an awesome show for you today. We're going to start off with our What the Fuck News and exciting news as usual, hit up some conspiracy theories and possibly play a game, what, later?

And your favorite and mine, Urban Dictionary.

Yeah, I'm really looking forward to today's show. Quick announcement before we get into anything else. After this episode, we're going to take a couple weeks off of recording just to enjoy the New Year. We'll be back releasing the next episode of My Kajiggers on January 16th.

So to start off the show today, last week was the Bronx and Skadi holiday episode where Dan got both my animals presents and got me something. My present came in late. So I'm starting off this episode letting Dan open my present.

Okay, let me go ahead and open it.

Yes. OK, read the box.

Okay. It says open only on podcasts for the losers to know what it is. What else is on there? To Dan from Emily, Mikey, Skadi and Bronx. Emily is the one that bought it.

So describe the box. It's cardboard.

It has an Amazon smile on it. And it is taped shut with duct tape. Yeah, some quality wrapping from the person that gave me crap over a tissue paper last week. Revenge. OK. Let's see what's in this.

See, what's nice is that is so poorly wrapped that you can open it really easy. Is trying to help you as well.

That is awesome. So it is a phone call, pop, which I love of Batman in a 1950s Batmobile. That's great. Isn't that sick? Yes, I love it. It's it's so cool because it's very similar to the like 1960s Adam West Battle Biehl and because the Pops have these oversized heads, his head is about a third the size of the Batmobile. It's just kind of floating above the red stuff.

So you are so hard to choose one for you because I know how much you like Batman.

And I was thinking, oh, I want to get them some, like, really cool 80s Batman because, you know, he was in that weird blue color and the grey and I couldn't find something.

And then I was like, oh, just look at the fungus, cause I know he likes them.

And I was like, fungo Batmobile. And there was an 80s one and there was two 1950s one cause the other one is black and red. And so I ordered that. And I'm really glad it came in now.

Thank you. I really appreciate that. That's great.

Yeah. I was there when it came in.

I got really nervous and like, oh, what if he has any.

No, I don't collect too many pops. I love them, but they just take up space. Yeah. By that me. Thank you. I really appreciate that.

You're welcome. I'm glad you like it. So to segway into the rest of the show, let's get on to some fucked up news.

I will start. OK. This is a follow up to last week's episode where we talked about Hallmark pulling the gay wedding and they have actually apologized and they want to talk with that company that was running the ads about getting them back on the network. The company itself has said they'll consider it. I mean, they didn't really work out that well for the last time. But, you know, I think it's important to give Hallmark some credit for trying. Yeah. Reversing their decision. The only thing that bothers me is it seems like just more of what caused a problem in the first place of the cave to backlash the first time. And then they got different backlash and cave to that. I just I wish they'd know who they were and stick to those principles rather than just being wishy washy. Debate on who's complaining at any given time.

Yeah. So I yeah, it's all I had. I just wanted to give an update.

So mine is also kind of a update to last week we talked about how there was a 13 car crash in the St. Louis area because people don't know how to drive in bad weather. Well, Sunday, the 22nd the day. So this is the day we're recording. So at 750 a.m. on the 22nd. A chain reaction of 60 cars collided with each other due to foggy, icy weather. The pileup was so bad that the first responders were forced to climb over the cars to get to the people in the accident. And then what made it even worse is that rubberneckers were just slamming into the cars.

Yeah, I saw some of those photos you had saved. And it's a cluster fight. It looks like some of the wrecks I've seen on Grand Theft Auto where you just keep crashing vehicles into one another. It doesn't seem possible for people to. Mess up that badly.

But, yeah, it just takes one person to make a chain reaction. But they got it cleaned up and the weather. State, the local weather station said that due to the freezing temps, it made a colder frost that froze to the ground, made black ice.

Nice. But still, it's like they send out precautions about hazardous weather. I don't get dumb people. I don't get people who don't know how to drive.

I don't get how to drive either. So it lets you know Exxon is on my next one.

At the Army Navy game, there was a reporter staying in front of a bunch of West Point Army cadets just as a backdrop. And a few of them were caught on camera making the okay sign with their fingers below the waist. Apparently, that is now a white power symbol. So various people complained and said, how horrible is that? The army is letting this academy is letting in people that are associated with white supremacy. When I saw the article, as soon as I saw the picture, I was like, OK, this is just the circle game. I'm pretty sure you and I have played this in the past.

We I'm sure we have.

It's basically like you make the okay sign below your waist. And if somebody looks like I gotcha. If if you really play in it, you punch it in the arm.

This was like a bubble, kind of like supposed to look like down at their pants.

Yeah, that's clearly what these young kids are doing. And then had to be investigated. The investigation came back. Yeah. That's her doing it. They had no idea that was even a white supremacy symbol at all. Yeah. I don't say when I and I was the first time I've heard of it, they were just playing this stupid game and they've been reprimanded because, I mean, it really isn't appropriate to be doing a live television, especially if you're in the academy. I give them a little slack. The kids, it's.

Yeah, it's still got to be young.

Yeah. The whole thing was that people would immediately jump to this is just a bunch of white supremacists, whatever. What's your next one?

So this one gets a little dark. OK, but the former Kentucky governor. Is that in the news hot lately? Because in his final days in office, he granted hundreds of pardons. A lot of them are for convicted felons, including murderers and rapists. And the one in particular that he is in the news about is for Micah Shogi, who was convicted and sentenced to twenty three years for rape, sodomy and sexual abuse. And in particular, he raped and tormented a nine year old girl. Classy, right? And so he was pardoned by Matt Bevin. So here's some quotes from Bevin. One of them during a radio interview in Louisville, he pardoned a child rapist partly because the hymen of the nine year old victim was still intact. I guess there was more than one nine year old or what? More than one kid. This is a direct quote from him. Both are Hyman's were intact. Bevin said this is perhaps more specific than people would want. But trust me, if you had been repeatedly sexually violated as a small child by an adult, there is going to be repercussions.

Can't rid of that physically and medically and then offer that there is actual scientific testing done that not all sexual abuse that happens to children can be shown that way.

Just because it's not that present doesn't mean they're not being sexually abused.

The last one says you should not be sent to jail based simply the word an uncooperative word of a single individual, especially when it is possible to verify that medically and physically. And there were no ability to do so.

What the fuck? I'm not really a fan of pardons in general.

Like I say, did something to get themselves in trouble and they were found guilty by our criminal justice system. It really feels wrong to me for one person, especially somebody who's about to leave office and facing zero political repercussions.

To be able to unilaterally decide, yeah, we'll let this person out there saying that he did a lot of this so he could have political gains. But like his defense to all the pardons are.

Well, most of these are because they're so I just scored a bunch of water coolers in the worst possible time for what we're talking about.

But Bevan's said that a lot of his pardons were supposed to be for petty convictions, for drug offenses, which I can hear Sam being pardoned for a drug offense, like if they're. Minor offenses that are absolutely ridiculous. But I mean, if you're trafficking drugs, that's an offense, but like petty like pot charges.

I can understand there's no such thing as a petty rape charge.

No, absolutely not.

So prosecutors are going to continue to investigate on these pardons on like what they can do next, especially to get this guy off of the streets. Medical experts were saying that the Showtime guy wasn't in prison long enough to do any kind of rehabilitating. And what they called sex offender treatment. So, like, you know how they're going to keep him from doing it again?

Castration? Pretty much. That's how you keep them from doing it again.

But now this leaves children as potential prey because this man is is outright.

Well, and I would imagine if he's been pardoned, he probably is. I have to be registered as a sex offender.

I don't know on that one. But all I know is that he only served under 18 months. That's right. Fucked up to me in my my opinion.

So don't come at me. My opinion is because he not does this as a. Anything to do with it. But he is a Republican governor who lost badly. Well, it was very since slim. But he lost to a Democrat who is taking over office in Kentucky. So I don't know if it's just a fuck you to people or if there is something behind it, but and nobody knows why he decided to do all of these.

Yeah, that's crazy. My next one, Missouri church leader on Grinder tried to pay for sex acts with Arby's gift card.

Did you see that? Yes.

So for listeners, we have a shared folder on Facebook where Emily and I share stories we to talk about on the podcast. And she saw this and just immediately did the laugh emoticon.

How stupid are people? And for one, Arbie sucks. So it's a lose lose situation either way.

Yeah, apparently this professor Barry Poinar of Kirksville, Missouri, teaches at Truman State University and was going on Grinder under the handle Delph.

If you want to explain what Adelphia's daddy I'd like to flush is just to hear you say daddy weird.

I'm honestly impressed that he was able to get that handle. You would think they'd be like Dille eight forty seven or something. Yeah, but he would then go on Grinder to offer to pay people for sex and the police were tipped off. So they had an undercover officer tried to investigate this and this guy message.

The undercover officer told him if things went well enough he'd pay for the officers gas to get to the location and might throw in an Arby's gift freely.

Who doesn't know? A grinder is grinder is basically Tinder and LGBTQ community.

This professor slash church leader, he told the officer that he was interested in a sugar daddy relationship and that he likes to provide partners with gift cards, clothes and cold, hard cash. He's been charged with patronizing prostitution and facing up to six months in prison and a fine of 1000 dollars if convicted.

Can you read the first part again?

The sugar. They. Make it creepy.

Poinar said he was interested in a sugar daddy relationship.

So it's funny, but it's absolutely fucking hilarious.

Yeah. Anything else to contribute to that article? I can go back and explain what Delph means.

Delph means daddy like to fuck you over.

Okay. No. Get more in.

No, it was good to update people. I can collect myself here. I tried the new kick the.

It is a very important update. Yeah. Bage is the fucking good the mint chocolate cake gets.

Oh my God.

So what you're saying is the fucking man.

The fucking me. I you. You will.

You ain't my night orders.

Perfect. I need to make your ringtone. Just saying sugar daddy relationship.

Hunter. Guys, you have to agree with me. Please smash that share button. Please get Dan does do the daddy thing.

Mega ringtone. Oh.

Oh. I guess let us know what else to say Cary, because it's hilarious that.

Oh that could be.

Oh. Just out a new segment.

Yeah. I think this segment for people you gotta last. Now go on Facebook at My Kajiggers Podcast. Tell us what you want to hear me say and make creepy. It doesn't even have to be something that's necessarily creepy. I can make it creepy and I want to hear it. Moving on from What the Fuck News. How about we dive into some conspiracy theories, man?

Do we have some far, far fetched ones for you today?

They're so good. So my first one is the reptilian elite. So just a quick quickie on this one. There is a conspiracy theorist out there. His name is David IHC. He's a British born nut job. Yeah, I'm familiar. So this just a little snippet I have is the conspiracy theorist and New Age philosopher who are only talk turquoise for a time, insisted on being called Son of Godhead, says that these in a new key and anarchy and anarchy.

It's sad.

I know what you're going for have controlled humankind since ancient times. So just a quick background on David Eick, British born.

He played football for a long, long time. He was a very talented goalkeeper and he had been recruited by talent agencies. But he had to give up his career because of arthritic pains. So he had to give up his football career. And at this point in time, he started working as travel agent and from being a travel agent, he got a star and journalists and sports broadcasting, which he does. He has done for years and years. And I think he might still do it now a little bit.

I don't know. Between the 80s and up, he started to have his colourful thinking. We'll just call it that. So reptilian elite. Here we go.

It proposes that an interdimensional race of reptilian beings called the Arkan's have hijacked the Earth and are stopping humanity from realizing its true potential. He also claims that that and Anakie are dieties from the Babylonian creation myth. Atama Elise. I don't know how to say it's very foreign for me to say or they're like the watchers who mated with human women and the biblical times. So David believes that these are genetically modified human Arcon hybrids who are shape shifting reptilians from the Babylonian Brotherhood or the Illuminati. And he's written multiple books on this in his life. Right. He's written five or six books in at least three of them, I think are on this topic.

I hate that I'm over here just nodding my hand because I listen to Paranoid Park estimate. Yeah, yeah. I knew all about this.

So I have a direct quote from Mike. When you go back into the ancient world, you find this reoccurring theme of a union between a non-human race and humans creating hybrid. From 1998, I saw coming across people who told me they had seen people changing into a non-human form. It's an old age phenomenon. Know shapeshifting. They basically form a scaly humanoid with reptilian eyes. Rather than humanize this guy, is he something else? He has some hurdles, but he thinks that the breeding to between two hundred three hundred thousand years ago, the creation of Adam and the latest seven thousand years ago.

And like he goes into like 4th and 5th dimensional talk and. No, I mean, you know. I mean, you know. Yeah. Which is completely out there and it's own. But here's just here's a little list of people that people think are humanoid reptiles.

Can I try to guess some people on your list? Yes. Prince Charles and the royal family. The entire royal family as Hillary Clinton and Bill of Shit. That's all I can think about. The top of my head. George W. Bush. Yeah.

I know that there was like some Justin Bieber and Miley Cyrus connections.

I have heard Lady Gaga one's.

Surprise me. Lovely. I love Lady Gaga. But it wouldn't surprise me. But like the first time that I came across this theory, it's been years since I've known less. But it was like a video that some may have shined, too. Oh, it was a Shane Dawson conspiracy. Here you video fucking low Shane Dawson. But it was a video that he was showing to kind of like, you know, back up the theories and talking about. Watch The Flash. It's slow motion. This video down and out member who was it might have been Justin Bieber.

And you like you're trying to focus on the eyes where it supposedly air quotes is what I'm doing right now in my head, because I know exactly tons of videos you're talking about is a flashing eye where it goes from his normal color eyes, which I think I know to replicate reptilian eye, which is like, you know, the green with the very long gated oval back to his normal. I don't know. You think human reptiles are real?

Well, it's often just a video artefact when it's not just people inserting stuff with computers themselves. It's something that's just naturally in the video. It's usually just some weird video artifact. But I've seen so many of these videos where it's maybe a four second long clip and then they slow it down and zoom in a little more than they'd loop it back, slow it down some more until it's painstakingly slow and just zoomed in. And once they really pixellated has say, once they zoom in and it fucks with the image anyways, that is stereotypical conspiracy theory. That's like right up there with tinfoil hats just so popular. I don't. There's so many people that believe in it, too.

I think it says that there is like 12 million people who believe that reptilian humanoids are real.

It might have been, David, a few years ago was saying to stay away from malls because on some specific day, the reptiles were going to launch their attack and basically have terror attacks on malls. And that was the day they were going to take over the world.

One of my favorite things that I read, though, from him is like he was in that is he was in a room. And I don't know if this is like a hotel room when he was traveling or if it was in his house and he heard noises and like, he finally was just like, is somebody is there? Give me an answer. And then he got nothing, of course. And then supposedly a few days later, he was at like a magazine bazaar or somethin. And quote unquote, saying, I felt something, lift my fee and directed me towards this book. And then he read this book from this crackpot.

So, yeah, they have a way of feeding each other. All right, Zelie, I have to say about the Reptilians.

Yes. My first conspiracy theory. And when does not exist?

Well, when you brought this up to me, I was so it piqued my interest so much because it just sounds so fucking out there.

So here's the amazing thing about this theory. The guy that is responsible for putting it out there on the Internet doesn't even believe it. Didn't believe it when he put it on the Internet. But it took off.

So why put something out there?

Ok. So here's the story. This guy we just know his first name is Jack. And I got this from a vice article. He was a 20 something kid on Reddit. And Kamus crossed a thread that was post the most ridiculous thing your parents taught you as a child. So he posted the story about his parents just messing with him as a kid. They weren't actually intending for him to believe this long term as just a joke. They played on as a kid where they convinced him that Finland did not exist. And. The U.N. is in on the conspiracy because the world maps have been altered to include Finland, but the main perpetrators of this conspiracy are Russia and Japan. OK. See where the landmass of Finland exists on most maps. It's actually just open sea. And Japan really likes fishing a lot. Their economy is based around fishing. But environmentalists were getting in the way. And Japan needed some place to go get fish without people worrying about them overfishing. So they created this area on the map where Japan could go and fish without anybody questioning what they were doing there.

It doesn't make any sense because like the amount of space between Japan and Finland, I'm looking at a map right now because I had to visualize this.

Well, the whole reason the Trans-Siberian railroad was built was to help them transport all this fish that they're collecting in the area of Finland back to Japan. And one of the biggest companies in Finland is Nokia. It's actually a shell company that was created so that Japan can supposedly be importing a lot of Nokia cell phones. But they're actually using those shipments to hide all the fish that they're getting today because apparently Japan buys a lot of Nokia cell phones. But nobody there uses them. And the best part of this theory is that they named it after the fish fish half fence. So they named it Finland. And this is just a story. This kid's parents told him just to mess with them because we do the kids. He believed it when he was eight or nine. And then as he got older, like, OK. That's bullshit.

And he just shared it as a funny, funny anecdote on the Internet. And other people ran with it like, yeah, that makes sense. Absolutely not.

Yeah. There's nothing else to say about this theory other than it wasn't even proposed to the Internet as something to be believed. It was. Hey, this is a stupid thing, my parents told me and people just wants them to believe in. And they ran with it. OK. It's simple. There's not a whole lot to it. It's just stupid. You're a dive into your next one.

Yeah. So my next one out there is something I'm. Like I've finished said a few years. Is William Shakespeare really William Shakespeare?

So there is an argument out there by A. Strat Ferdinand's who are making the argument that William Shakespeare is just a pseudonym for somebody else. There's quite a bit of knowledge to back it up. So it's not as far fetched as many people believe. And I should. Ferdinand's are a collective term for this group of people trying to pull information to disprove who Shakespeare is. Whether he actually wrote, yes, the plays. William Shakespeare was a hundred percent a real person.

The theory in question is if he was literate at all to complete these.

So about the middle of the 19th century is when Shakespeare's authorship was starting to be questioned.

And a lot of great writers kind of have backed up the theory and trying to say, like, was he capable of this? The most popular people who are more likely to write these are Sapientis Bacon, Edward de Vere, the 17th Century Earl of Oxford, Christopher Marlowe, and William Stanley, who was the sixth Earl of Derby. So those are the most popular people that are more likely to be associated with writing means than Shakespeare. Shakespeare lacked vital education. He didn't have any aristocratic sensibility, no kind of royal court tie. He also had a very mundane life. Nothing really special about like any of like records that they have on him. None of his records show any kind of personality spike, I guess you could say, like nothing in his life was actually that exciting.

Ok, so he's just a really creative guy who somehow also didn't make any waves in society.

Yeah, OK. So there are several, like famous skeptics of who Shakespeare is. Walt Whitman. Mark Twain. Freud. They have argued against Shakespeare's authorship.

The article that I read just kept going on and on about how he was extremely literate. His children were very literate. His parents were illiterate because every time they would go sign something, it was just dashes, just straight dashes and said that one of his daughters, when she would sign, you know, legal documents, she kind of just drew a picture.

Did you come across any motives for these other people to have written under his name?

I know one of them that I knew was Marlowe because he had you know, he is trying to do like government reforms. He didn't want those tied together.

He was also a published writer. No pressure. He wrote one of the versions of Fast.

I'll get to those in the website that I have. But I mean, this is just more information on, like, Shakespeare's background right now. Well, he has absolutely no education documented. Most, you know, established writers went to like a prominent university. And there's nothing even dating him being in any kind of education.

But one of the biggest things is that there are no written manuscripts from him. Everything is gone because when he died, nothing was left to anybody. But there are still six authenticated signatures from him. And it's basically just like child's scribble, like a two year old scribbling. All six of them are absolutely different. So that's why nobody knows how to spell his last name like that is his last name. But nobody knows the original spelling because nobody in the family knew how to write. Kind of neat to me.

Yeah, that's interesting. So he died in April of sixteen sixteen in Stratford. He left no sign. Well, he had an estate, but it's nobody.

No mention of personal papers, books or poems. And but they know that there is 18 plays that were unpublished at the time of this. But I know a lot of the stuff that he had literally just vanished because he left, it claimed to nobody.

So it just kind of poof. So that's just kind of like his background.

But I've got theories on a few of the people that they think are him. So Edward de Vere, he was a 17th Earl of Oxford, also known as the Lord Great Chamberlain of England. He was also a poet.

There is little evidence about him writing these, but there are references and plays of his life. That kind of intermingle. Sir Francis Bacon, I think, is the most popular one. At least that's the most popular one. I know Sir Francis Bacon was a writer of New Atlantis. He did essays. He is a scientist. He penned plays. He's extremely smart, man. And there is not a whole lot of evidence.

But I know that this one is more popular than some of the other people. I think the two Princes Bacon and Christopher Marlowe are the two that are the most like establish like these could be them writing, but they didn't want the, you know, the extra publicity. OK.

Christopher Marlowe, he was a playwright. Same exact timeline as Shakespeare. They even kind of have like the same history came from kind of a Povero ish system. So there is a theory that reports Malas death was a drunken brawl in May. The theory that reports that how Marlowe died in a drunken brawl were falsified to protect him from going to prison for being atheist. And so they believe that he named Shakespeare to be the play his plays author to kind of like hide his truth.

Ok. But, I mean, there's not much more on than. Guys, I left my notes at work, and I am really, really bad because I was so fucking prepared with this line because I like this theory. I absolutely like this theory because to me, it makes sense.

Like, how can somebody that has no. I could believe that he would come up with the stuff and somebody else write it for him. It's possible. But I mean I mean, there's other theories out there that he was just some drunkard who one of these famous people were like, I'm going to write these plays, but I want this guy to be the face to take the fame away.

I know when I was in college, one of my favorite professors was very into the Earl of Oxford theory to the point that she was a member of the X 14 society and she would go across the country to present papers on Hosley. I've never really understood the point. I mean, we can't definitively prove it.

Yeah, there is no original documents anymore and I know a lot of Shakespeare's works. You can't even find them anymore. It's lucky that we still have as many as we do.

It's interesting. I said I've just never understood the point in debating it, because even if we did, what's going to happen now? Even if we establish. Yeah, the Earl of Oxford wrote them, does that change history in any significant way?

No, but it's something to get to thinking.

Yeah. Give anything else to say on that.

No, I want to hear so bad.

I have been dying to tell you this one. OK. Yeah. I've been messaging in the last couple days. Originally I was going to cover Flat Earth and just in the preliminary stages of getting some notes together for flat earth. I came across a theory that makes flat earth seem sane and I'll just preface it with I know flat earth infuriates a lot of people. I actually see some value in entertaining the thought. I don't believe it in any way. But there's two different types of flat earth. There's the people that buy into it just completely. And then there's the people that it's all about the questioning. I mean, most people that hate on flat earth theirs can't themselves scientifically prove why the earth is round. They're just regurgitating knowledge. And that's the point of many more academic flat authors. It's you should question things and be able to explain why you believe something. But there's also people that believe in a hollow earth. They believe we're on the outside globe. But the inside is hollow. And there's a second son at the core and whole other civilizations. But then there's a third set. There's the set. The believes we are the civilization on the inside. This is called Concave Earth Theory, also known as Cell Earth, because it envisions the Earth as like a cell with an outer membrane. And then like a core, imagine a globe in half. And then you take the map as we know it and just paint all the continents on the inside surface of the globe. And that's where the landmasses we know are. And in the center of the sphere is the celestial sphere. And it's made of glass. And that's where all of the heavens are. Look, you're different. You get that far into this isn't the most in same thing I hotel. You just buy into the fact that there's a sphere made of glass. OK. OK. That's where the moon, the sun, the stars and the planets all are.

So does that mean that everything else is flat. So you know. Okay.

Well, see, in this theory, nothing's flat. It's all spherical. It's just the universe, as you know. It is just the inverse of everything. The biggest thing is the outer surface of the earth. And then all the heavens and everything is condensed into the very center of this sphere. Within this glass sphere is three smaller spheres. And we can prove this because sometimes you can see these, you know, on certain days when the is right, you see a prism halo around the sun. You're seeing the outer edge of one of the other spheres. I love the look there. You're right. Guys, strap in because this only gets more insane.

So I've got some foil on my fridge. I need to make a foil hat for this theory.

No, you need to get a scuba suit because we're taking a deep dive into some bad shit. Perfect. Now, the reason we don't see this sphere that's in the middle of the sky is because there's an optical illusion. And because of the angle that we're observing light, it gives the appearance that the sky is a dome that curves away from us, when actually it's a sphere that curves towards us. And the sun in this theory has a magnetic field shaped like a figure eight with one loop coming out the top and another loop coming out the bottom. And the sun is at the center of this. Figure it closer to the center of the sphere where the sun is. The magnetic field creates a lifting force that pulls everything towards it. And that's what keeps the plants from crashing through the glass and killing us all. And then as you get further away from the center of this magnetic field, it switches polarity and it pushes things. We experience this as gravity and it keeps us pushed against the outer layer of the earth.

So we don't fall towards the sun. OK.

Yeah. I love seeing your expressions. Just like, what the fuck?

Yeah. You think it's crazy too, right? Baby? Yes.

Oh, I got plenty more notes on this.

And this magnetic force also explains why we don't see the other landmasses up in the sky.

Ok. So it's the fact like you have the earth, like instead of a bee on this side, it's on this side like. Yeah, like a sphere. Yeah.

If you're inside the sphere, you should be able to see the other landmasses on the opposite side of the sphere. OK, but we can't. And that's because this magnetic force is so powerful it actually curves light. So the sun's light comes down straight, hits the earth. And then because of that magnetic force, it curves it up on both sides and follows that like loop of the figure eight. And then as the sun rotates because it's only lit on one side. Yeah, it's only lit on one side. So as it rotates throughout the day, that loop moves its way across the surface of the earth and exposes only certain areas to the light. And that's all you get night and day. But also, since our vision relies on light bouncing off of objects and coming into our eyes, that's why we can't see the objects on the other side of the sphere, because that light has curved back towards the sun instead of towards those things. So we can't see them. So that's why we have a horizon. The horizon is just the point where the light has curved back towards the sky and we can't see anything back past that.

Stop me if you collect, it's.

I don't know how to form questions for this. Also, we can't actually see the sun. You might think you look up in the sky and see the sun. No. Is it a reflection? Yes, because the sun is actually contained in an eight sided die.

Do you have to roll it and make a decision for you? No, but it does rotate.

And that's how we get that night day cyclone talking about.

But an eight sided die.

Yeah, it's four triangles on the bottom and four triangles on the top. So like two pyramids, but. Yeah. But this dye is made of a bunch of mercury discs and it's multiple layers builded up into this dye and the light of the actual sun inside reflects off of them and eventually it finds its way out and bounces towards us. OK. Since it's only white on one side when it's facing, the sun is facing away from us. That's when we get night. And speaking of night, let's talk about stars. Sea stars do exist, but most of the stars that we think about, the constant star patterns, constellations, they are actually stars. We'll come back to those. The real stars are actually giant balls of burning gas. And what they are is small sound bubbles that vibrate so fast they produce heat and glow. And these bubbles are suspended in dark matter, which is a liquid filling the celestial sphere. Now, let's get back to the constellations, since they're pretty constant. We see them as a pattern moving across the sky. Here's why they were caused by the Great Flood. Okay. And the Great Flood occurred when actual stars, these super hot sound bubbles settled on the bottom of the sphere. And as they collected, they got so hot they melted holes in the glass, causing water to just come rushing out. And it flooded the earth. And then as the glass cooled, it congealed and sealed the holes, leaving little imperfections. And when light inside the sphere hits these imperfections that are like in a set pattern, it produces the constellations and the sphere itself rotates. The constellations appear to travel across the sky. OK.

But there's proof that this happened.

We know for a fact that the great flood was caused by these holes being burst into the glass because of the spiral shape of galaxies, which was caused by the water rushing out of the sphere in a spiral shape. You know, when you see water go down drain it circles. That's what gave the galaxies their spiral form.

You have no words. No, OK. There's more evidence of this glass.

Shocking. I love this. Absolutely love this.

You see, comets often appear to have a curved tail. And that's not because they are falling in kind of curve trajectory. That's a Lindsay effect of the glass because the other will be stupid. Would who would think that they would ever possibly take a curve, trajectory and rainbows? There are prismatic effect caused by moisture collecting on the outer surface of the sphere.

Honestly, the only one that makes sense.

Yeah, that's all. I have four notes on the concave earth. I was trying to follow this theory so closely. I originally stumbled across it, found this old ass model from an eighteen hundreds cult that originated this theory that showed basically a split globe with this glass celestial sphere inside of it.

I have to give them props because I mean, eighteen hundreds, they don't they didn't have the technology that we had now. I mean, I have to give it to them for coming up with this.

There's so much in there and I basically just got the surface of it. There's math and explanations of magnetic fields in the ionosphere. It's really they have an answer for every possible question you could ask.

That's impressive. That's honestly impressive. Like, these people are so committed, I have to give it to them. That was honestly quite interesting.

Really fucking out there.

But just on this and the hollow earth and flat earth, I think they're cool theories and I don't buy into them at all. At the same time, I don't see the point. Kind of like the Shakespeare thing. If somebody came and like the government scientifically proved. Oh yeah. The Earth is flat.

It really wouldn't change my life all that much because somehow our satellites and wireless connections, they all work. I don't need to know how they work. It's not going to change how I live my life now. Even if space isn't something it actually uses and we can't send satellites through this glass sphere, our technology is working somehow. That's good enough for me. It's not like a lot of conspiracy theories where I don't know, say the government killed JFK or the government was behind 9/11 where people died and someone should be held accountable. Yeah, this is just we're being lied to about something that doesn't need to be lied about. You want to just jump right into a game inspired by Emily's game. Dang. As bands, I'm gonna call this fake news.

Yes, I am. All right.

So the idea of this is I have like eleven facts. How'd you get started with the stand? I made up a random fact at work one day, as I like to do. I just like to create truth.

Rachel finally told me what it was because you hadn't.

Damn it. That's one of mine.

Ok. Fuck. Thanks, Rachel.

She's so happy that we said her name.

Rachel ruined the game. Okay. So I have ten bags and an 11th one, but we will get two eventually. And I'm not going to tell you how many of them are true and how many are false. You just have to guess. Okay. Okay.

One Old Norse word for snow is Joltin Foulon, which can be translated as the giant dandruff horse. Yes. Thanks, Rachel.

Was that the only one? Damn it, Rachel. Hey, you almost got me, though.

The Olympic flag's colors are always red, black, blue, green and yellow. And this is because at least one of those colors appears on the flag of every nation on the planet.

I think, though, it's true. Right.

In ancient Egypt, a shaved head was considered the ultimate in feminine beauty. Egyptian women removed every hair from their heads with special gold tweezers and polished their scalps to a high sheen with buffing cloths.

So there's not an actual like royalty Rankins just women in general. Yes, just the standard of beauty. Yes, that's true. OK. And I did not fact check these all that deeply. I found a list of facts. We're going with the truth. I think it probably has something to do. Cleopatra. Maybe. I just love it. They polished their head high sheen. Why not?

Early crime scene photographers were required to sprinkle chalk around victims to minimize the appearance of blood and publications. This later evolved into the more familiar chalk outline.

Everyone knows today Nego true on that one. That's false.

That's good, though. That's a good.

That's what I like to do. I like to make up things that are plausible. A jiffy is an actual unit of time. One one hundredth of a second.

I think this is true because of, you know, there being a pension, a dash as measurements.

Yeah, it's true. In 18th century England, gambling dens employed someone whose job was to swallow the dice.

If there was a police raid, I have a feeling about lounge chair. True. It makes sense.

In nineteen eighty two artists, Andy Warhol gave an interview with the Pittsburgh Observer in which he credited vaccinations for making him artistic.

For being Andy Warhol.

I don't find it that outlandish, but I feel like we're on a true streak.

So I'm going to go false and his boss. But I feel something something to it.

Oh yeah. I started at who would claim that vaccination made them artistic work backwards from there.

Oh yeah. Because you like to make the artistic joke.

The fax machine predates the invention of telephones by 33 years. Floss. That's true. Really? Yes. It worked with telegraphs.

Ok. There it is.

I had that's one. I did fact check. I'm like, there's no way that's true. It is. That's awesome. That's really cool. Rats multiply so quickly that in 18 months, two rats could have over three million descendants. True. True.

Because isn't that how the black plague kind of happened?

I think so. I've already lost track of score because I was circling the ones you got. Right. And I've been circling every single one. Okay. Ancient Egyptians slept on pillows made of stone walls. That one's actually true, huh? Apparently it was to keep bugs and stuff out of their mouths and ears. They also managed wooden and ivory pillows. Last one. Mass media exports make up nearly one quarter of Japan's economy, with the anime industry alone accounting for seventeen point four percent of the economy, making it their third most important industry behind technology and pharmaceuticals. True, as Fox really makes up like less than one percent.

Honestly surprised about that. Honestly, absolutely surprised about that one.

Oh, not bad. If I'm remembering this correctly, I think you got your own three. As far as I can tell. Cool. You know, me too.

Well, I won't play this again.

The hard part is finding the actual facts. The list that I found there was stuff that like, okay, that can't be right. And so I did fact check it and yeah, it wasn't right.

So for you audience members, I am absolutely 100 percent surprised. Dan just didn't fill it with just stupid, just false advertising. Not false. I would have just, you know, Dan, to make up all of these. I'm honestly surprised because I'm sure he would do.

I actually thought about making them today. There's also something I would do.

Yeah. I'm surprised by that.

All right. Are you ready to just wrap us up with Urban Dictionary? I know you're dying to tell me this one.

I am so excited. And you guys have a doozy for the end of the year. So your word today, Dan, is Dumptruck?

I don't know.

Oh, it's good. And I have a sentence with it, tucking the cock and balls between the legs and proceeding to ejaculate in the female's mouth while backing up and dropping a steamy load on her chest, making crazy beeping noises like a dump truck. Beep, beep, beep. So little Eugene as he jumped to kill Deuce all over Molly and her twin sister. Now, that's what I call a dump truck.

He had no words. Anyways, I know you have questions like I did last week. I just I'm ready to move on from that thought.

I just like that. It's a steamy load. God. And that. No.

Yeah. Thank you guys for listening to this week's episode. Please share us with your friends. If you're on Apple, go ahead and give us a star rating and review the helps other people find us. If you listen to us and other places, tell your friends about us. Do anything to just help us get the word out on the podcast out.

It's actually helping us. We just had our biggest week yet for downloads. So thank you, everybody.

Yes, I mean so much, guys. It means a lot to us. And, you know, you can always find us on Facebook at My Kajiggers Podcast where you guys can communicate with us, ask us questions. We always love to hear your feedback and let you know what you want to hear said dirty. Yes, guys, for real. Let us know when we post the video and the comments of that video. What video? Sorry. Let us know when the EPSO post and the comments underneath that. What? Where do you want to hear Dan say dirty? And we'll come back in the New Year with dirty words with Dan.

I'll make it super creepy. I'm so excited. So creepy.

But thank you so much, guys.

And have a wonderful New Year. And we really appreciate everything. Yeah. I hope you guys just have an amazing twenty twenty five.

Felicia. Felicia, wait, wait, wait. Say Dirty Dan. Bye, Felicia.

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