Ep. 2: Strict Parents Make Sneaky Children
Dan and Emily get better microphones, talk weird news, question using phones to track college age children, and pretend to go on drunken rants.
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Hey, guys, welcome back to My Kajiggers with Dan and Emily, we're just a couple of great friends trying to crack each other up and hopefully put a smile on your face. I'm Emily and here is my co-host, Danimal.
Hey, guys, what's up?
Well, you know, we're back again.
Another new show working on some better equipment. Hopefully you guys know the difference in the sound quality. Sorry. It happens as long as we're getting better. Right. Right. OK, so what's new with you this week?
Well, I mean, I was sick for a good chunk of this week. So sorry to you all that our listening. I sound like Garbo today and sorry for the sniffable in the coffin, but I'm going to try and powerhouse through this, but not a whole lot exciting. I like it.
There it is.
There it is. I do have my animals. I do have a pretty good story about what Skadi done this week. Yeah, it's a little gross. Like, oh like a little a lot of growth and that's the show. So I was out in my living room doing something and Mikey had just gotten home from work and I go into the bedroom because he's changed. And I was very close and we both looked down at the ground. I was like, what is that? It's a Kleenex. Where did this come from? Skadi went into the bathroom, pulled out a Kleenex from the trash can, and there was a used tampon in it. Yep. She dug into the bedroom and just laid it on the floor, like, what is that? And I go, Oh, I know.
And I picked it up and I told him what I was like, I'm sorry, our dog is real fucking gross. And I had Skadi.
So I made sure that she gave him a big a look on the face after that.
There are so many other exciting stories from the animal kingdom.
Bronx really likes to try and kill me.
So I'm trying better about like looking down when I'm walking because I'm real horrible about that.
And so he likes to just shoot right in front of my feet and he either gets punted or I trip. So he really likes doing that because he is he coming up behind me.
Yeah, he kept sneaking up on you to kill you still probably.
I wouldn't doubt it. The bitch bought me shitty food this week killing you.
Just look back a bitch, get a job and by your own good food you're looking at getting sawdust.
Basically not a whole lot going on for me this week. Tried to do some maintenance on my new car. Didn't get too far into it because I found out that the previous owner stripped the plug on the oil pan. So are you serious? Yeah, I can get loose. I'm just waiting on a replacement because I need to just replace that. Well, I'm in there. Yeah, but yeah, that was a fun realization on that and a whole lot going on. Just living the working adult life.
Oh my adult thing this week I went got my nails done. That's about it.
I'm not sure that counts as an adult thing and I was so responsible I got my nails.
Did girl do you see them. They like holographic and they change color. That is cool. I'm pretty impressed with the nineties. We'll get to that later because I've been watching some 90's TV lately. Also, I sit and just torture myself because most people know not lactose intolerant. But I sure do love ice cream, but it does not love me. Mm. And so that was my week is just eating a bunch of things that I shouldn't have been sick and making yourself more sick. Yes. That was my week.
So we've covered what you did do this week. And how about we cover the Emily didn't do this week.
Guess what. It was everything. I did do my dishes and I am almost done with laundry but I haven't done anything else. This week in my house is still disgusting, considering right before you got here, I had to take out all the trash because it was gross.
So you just have some kids now and it's it's free labor.
Can you hear my kids back there right now. Yeah, yeah. That's why they're fighting. I don't have real children because I can barely maintain my fur babies.
So it's that pretty much cover your life this week.
Yeah, I didn't do a whole lot, but I had an excuse. Uh, well, OK. So I have a half days when I work on Saturday and on my half day, I mean I did feel kind of crappy, but when I got home I just didn't do much. And like I said on my computer and I had the rest of the day to do stuff, but about like three o'clock I spiked a fever. I had a fever for seven hours. It was rough. I could not get warm. I was so miserable. So I blame being sick. OK, so was there any.
The exciting or crazy that you have seen this week, the only exciting thing I've seen this week is the final trailer for the Joker.
I know I was really excited that you sent that to me.
I'm super pumped. I've been skeptical of that movie since they announced it. A villain origin story seems like a strange way to go with a movie. Yeah. Plus, the DC movies don't have the greatest track record. No, not really. But and I'm still not sure that as a DC movie is going to work. It just looks good. The acting looks good. I'm so excited for walking Phoenix. I know already Oscar buzz about his performance. Good. It just looks like an interesting portrayal of a man's descent into madness, regardless of his comic book origins.
I'm really excited. I haven't really seen any Lenny's DC movies we've talked about. Like the last good DC movie that I seen was the first Dark Knight. And I was like the last good one that I saw in Heath Ledger's Joker.
Shoes are such big shoes to fill. I like where they're going with this one. It looks similar enough, but still distinct and different. And I like the there's more background and the yes, I love that even the final trailer doesn't really give you that much of an idea of the actual plot of the film. I want to go in and be surprised to see where it's taking me. It seems like a risky movie for them to make, and I just appreciate that risk. I'm super excited. We'll see if it lives up to the hype. The last DC movie I got super excited for also had the Joker Suicide Squad. Yeah, and that was probably one of my greatest disappointments in film.
Did you see that Netflix is making a Breaking Bad movie?
I did see that I never really got into Breaking Bad. People kept trying to get me into it. I might have watched one or two seasons and never really related to it. The acting was good. I just couldn't get that interested in the story.
I need to finish. I believe I'm actually only a couple season in seasons end because when I watch shows, I binged myself sick of shows and then I just leave them.
I've done that. I've done that with E.R. I'll go through one or two seasons at time and then like, I can't I can't stomach any more E.R. and they'll leave it for you and they'll come back. Oh yeah. This is a great show. Why have I not been watching it? Oh, you why.
I'm traumatized on that show. I don't think so. Maybe. OK, so it used to be one of my mom's like favorite shows because when like the first house I remember living in is like when it came out. So I was like well early twenties when I came out mid twenties. Oh it was like mid nineties. Mid 90s. OK, so I was maybe let's say five or six and my mom was watching an episode in her bedroom and I couldn't sleep. So I'm like, Mom, can I just my dad worked my nights and so I was like, Mom, can I fall asleep? And here? Like, Yeah, sure. And so I laid next to her and I just opened my eyes and turned to the TV. This bitch was coughing up a piece of her lung and like, spit it across the room, scarred me for life.
I said I was like, yeah, yeah. Or some pretty graphic stuff. And I know it's amazing, though. I know now on the other side of doctor shows, you have Scrubs, which was also I love Scrubs opposite ends of the spectrum, but I love both of you know, I wish they'd bring back scrubs, but like, good unlike the last time they brought it back to your doctor show.
I really like house.
House was great. I thought it went a little long.
It died out near the end, but like, it was really good, I thought.
Was it at its best in the early seasons with the original team. And then once they had the season where he was auditioning new team members, that was pretty good. You had Kalpen Kumar. Yeah, but yeah, after that I think it quickly jumped the shark. But yeah, early house was really good. So, uh, any other exciting viewer did you see in the new Cats trailer there's a new one.
No, I meant just like cats in general. Have you seen the trailer for Cats? I saw it like a month ago or so. I'm actually really excited about that. They've got a really good cast in there.
Have you ever seen cats, bits and pieces to. I have no previous experience with it at all other than just being aware of its existence. Yeah. So I don't know what to expect from it, but it looks at least visually stunning. Um, so yeah. I'll give it a try. See, see how good is.
My last exciting news that I have is there's a new segment, Sims expansion coming out and it which is I saw that it's it's basically an updated version of like making magic.
Basically I saw that and immediately thought of you. It's been so long since I played any Sims. I love this.
I see some news and, oh, I love Semmes, and it looks so cool because you're you being a witch or I guess for you males out there. Werlau But still in making magic on steroids. I'm really excited about that.
Ok, so moving on to just weird news. This one cracks me up. Dairy Queen burgers are not made of human flesh. A county coroner is forced to confirm what. So apparently there is a Dairy Queen in South Carolina and the feds raided it, but it wasn't immediately announced why they raided it. It ended up being that they had gotten a tip about some illegal money transfers, that somebody was like storing cash at that business and doing. But since nobody knew why they actually got raided, at first the rumor went around that they got caught selling burgers made out of human flesh. So then Dairy Queen had to come out and publicly say, no, our burgers are 100 percent beef. And then some local paper, they went to the county coroner and they're like, hey, is this even possible? And he's just exasperated like, no, like, why? Who would even believe this? It's not even believable. Why is wrong with people? Like why would you even think that Dairy Queen would do that? Well, it's somehow easier and cheaper for them to acquire human cadavers than to just buy beef. I mean, it reminds me of the first episode, Bob's Burgers, when the river goes around, that they're making their burgers out of people from the mortician shop next door. The health inspector makes them put a giant sticker on the door that says burgers may contain human meat. Oh, my God. They're just closing the place. All right. Let's move on to your story, lady.
Find Brown recluse in her ear. So the headline read Woman Thinks She Has Water. It turns out it's brown recluse. Oh, one that freaks me out so bad because why? My allergies have been so bad this year that my ears have started getting really itchy. And I just determined that it's bugs in my ear. And after eating that, like every time I eat your age is like Spider is in my ear, there is a spider in my ear.
That's a lot of. Nope, I don't even like to think about that any time I see those stories because you're so vulnerable when you're just sleeping. Makes you want to just put earplugs in.
Oh, well, moving on, we're going to move on from this.
Yeah. Did you hear what Hasbro has recently acquired? No. OK, so here's a highlight. Hasbro acquires gangster rap label Death Row Records as part of four billion dollar deal. Are you serious? Okay, so it's not quite as simple as the headline makes a sound. Basically, they bought this other company Entertainment Want that makes the cartoons. Peppa Pig and PJ masks Mom in a bid to expand their family friendly catalog. But through just assorted business transactions over the years in death row records changing hands, it had ended up at Entertainment One. So when Hasbro, trying to buy family friendly entertainment, acquired this other company, they bought death row records.
And for people who don't know who death row records is, just name a few people that are on it.
Damn, I can't all say Tupac was. I know should night was in charge of it forever. And like he's currently serving many years in prison for running a guy over. Oh, God. On the set of Straight Out of Compton. Well, who are you serious. Yeah. Which is a movie that depicts what a horrible person should.
I guess so. Google says Death Row Records. What was Tupac Shug Night. Snoop Dogg, Dr. Dre, Nate Dogg. Outlaws outlaw that bow. Wow.
I thought he was in jail, too. Yeah. Not the best reputation at death row records, but yeah, I just thought that whole situation was funny, especially when I got to the part where they were trying to acquire family friendly entertainment, like, yeah, that that sounds about right.
My last one is there were six elderly people who were arrested for having sex in a park. They're just getting jiggy with that.
I mean, at least they're living their lives. What's left of them, they're old. They don't give a fuck. So let's go fuck. My final weird story is Nurse pretended Woman's vagina was ventriloquist dummy in front of colleagues. So apparently this male nurse was examining a woman at some care center with three other colleagues when he, quote, pulled her labia apart and said, hello, my name is Blank, the patient's name. And when confronted about it. The nurse said the whole thing was taken out of proportion and really he just blames it on forgetting his medication and he was just doing the best to deal with an awkward social situation. What the fuck? Although I will give him credit when I read the headline, I was imagining something far more horrific than what he did. My mind immediately went to hand puppet. That's what I was thinking. Honestly, I think his greatest crime is not coming up with a better joke if you're going to do that at the Giago, Father. I would like to see what Jeff Dunham would do with this. Like maybe maybe that could be his news character. You know, he's got senior hopping on a stick, Señorita Vaj on a dick.
No, I dare you to sketch that out now.
I don't want to only if I can make it look slightly like a hollow pain. You know, I'd be nightmare fuel, so.
Ok, here's here's this. Five elderly man in an eighty five year old woman arrested for public sex in Connecticut Park police in Connecticut had been getting reports of inappropriate behavior at a public park, so they decided to see for themselves. They set up surveillance in this conservation area that looked and allegedly saw five men and one woman engage in sexual activity.
I love that it was a sting. Like it wasn't even that somebody stumbled across these old people having sex. It was just like, you know what, we're going to do something about this. This is a problem that might be more disgusting than the nurse with the vagina puppet.
I still can't get over that, though.
Ok, so moving on to something a little more serious. This one was from The New York Post and it says parents are using smartphones to track their college aged kids. And they spoke to a lot of parents. A few of the parents I saw in the article, one said it was necessary to track their kids because sometimes their kids didn't answer the phone or texts. And then another parent said, well, it's actually a benefit to my kids because then they don't have to tell me where to pick them up. Like, well, I don't really feel like it's that big of a benefit. Like, it's just creepy. I don't get it.
Ok, so my problem with that is I do I'm female and I'm also the youngest of just me and my brother. And so I know what it's like to have a parent that is very overprotective and had to text me and I had to tell them who I was with, where I was at, where we were going, what we were doing. And if I didn't answer, then I was getting phone calls and I would be in trouble if I didn't answer. And so this to me is just bullshit, really. And just knowing how it is there at college, they're basically I hate putting it basically in that because they're not adults, but they also have to be there to think for themselves. And if I can understand, calling your parents like I'm in a bad situation, come get me. But if they're just sitting there tracking their kids, if even if they're like sitting in their dorm, like, not the little far, honestly.
Yeah. And I can see an argument when they're in high school, like, yeah, I think that's a very fine line. When you're junior senior in high school, you should be getting some more freedom. Yeah, but you're still you're still kid like it's it's important for parents to check up on you. I don't think it's necessary to be able to reach your child 24/7. Yeah. Like, I think you need to give them some space even just to make their own mistakes and learn how to get out of those mistakes. Yeah. For once, you go away to college and I'm sure someone might be out there listening, thinking, well, parents paying for the phone that they should be able to use it to track the kid. Well, I disagree. You can even say, well, it's keeping my kids safe. If I know where they're at, I don't get it. I don't see that need. I mean, sure, there's there's plenty of college age people, male, female, that go missing. Yeah. Anybody that's going to abduct somebody, guess what they're going to do first. They're going to check the phone.
Yeah, they're going to turn it off.
Like, I do understand, like if you do have a kid and they're like deliberately not answering and they won't answer you for like hours upon hours, I could see a parent like I'm trying to see both sides here, but like, I'm not for it for sure. Like, if they're going to sit there, like, I can understand, OK, the way I see it is like one don't tell your kids you're tracking them. Like, if you need to just glance just to be like, all right, this is where they're at. Fine, turn it off, go away. Like, you don't have to be in their business. This is their time. Like like I was saying, like hours is upon. I was like, OK, if it's unusual for a kid to not respond like that, maybe, but that's a very loose maybe.
See, I feel fortunate. When I was graduating high school, texting was barely taking off. Yeah, it was there, but it wasn't popular. Yeah. Cell phones. People had them, but they weren't their little brick phone. Well they weren't that sophisticated. There wasn't location tracking, there weren't even apps. It was a simpler time and it wasn't something need to have on you all the time. It's been such a short period of time. I feel like a lot of these parents probably not that much older than me. So they remember a time when you could not reach people 24/7, like they shouldn't be that hooked on it, getting too dependent on a piece more or less plastic and innards. Yeah. And I think, you know, these people when they were in high school, obviously their parents couldn't track them like this.
Yeah, but how would they have felt if everywhere they went they had to worry about their parent following them in like a separate vehicle, you know, showing up, looking at the mall, you know, watching them, seeing what they're doing, spying in that way, they probably would have felt it was a violation of their privacy. They they definitely wouldn't have thought it was cool.
And I wonder if these parents, when they when their kids were real little, they were also those parents that wouldn't turn their phone off. They went to the theater or, you know, they made their kids have a phone in grade school and expect them to be able to be reached all the time.
Oh, my God. Seeing kids that like when I was getting my nails done, there was like this maybe 10 year old, maybe younger, who's just she had a phone that was almost as nice as mine and it looked like a newer iPhone and like, what the hell, there is no need for a kid to have an iPhone maybe.
Ok, I can see giving your kid like an iPod, like your kid at ten. Shouldn't be texting anybody shouldn't. I mean, give me a friggin flip phone if you're going to have them call you. But there is no need for 18 year old to have social media texting Snapchat.
There is no need for that ten year old needs as a jitterbug. Oh, my gosh. Because then they won't even think it's cool. So they won't want to use it. It should be an emergency phone, not a well, I just need to check up on them for my own mental stability, which if you're out there just constantly checking up on your kid, not because you have any reason to think that they're in danger, but because you're just constantly living in that fear, you need to take a chill pill.
Yeah, it's hard to come from two people who are not parents. But like I said, I come from a parent who is very overprotective. And I do appreciate my mom so much for being protective. But there's just times where it was almost smothering. And it's just is one of the things like you see, like for like parent, the first kid, the parent with second kid, but like seeing how overprotective can be. And like, I understand the world is so fucked up now, but you have to learn, like, my kids are getting older. I have to start letting go. Like, I don't have to stop being a parent, but my kids are becoming young adults.
Yeah. I think if you treat your kids like they can't be trusted. Yeah. What reason do they have to act like the restraints make sneaky children. You just teaching your kid. Well, I have to find a way to get around this rather than having faith that the child you raised, you've raised them, right? Yeah. I mean, like you said, neither one of us are parents, but this is the way I would parent. I would want my kid to grow up and be independent, like, of course, have rules set.
But if you want to see your child grow up better, me, me, I don't know, like I don't know how to put this nicely. Like, if you don't want them to resent you, OK, you want to give them like a peace of mind almost. And like a safe, loving, secure home is always the best. But you also have to let them be their own person to see.
And like you, I had a protective mom. I love her, but at times she could be the Lord Protector. I found ways to be sneaky. Yeah, it didn't always work out. Sometimes I got caught, but I married one way. This was back in the days of like dial up Internet. She would be at work and maybe she would try to call to check up on me. Well, if I wanted to go out and not make it seem like I was away from the house, I would just take the phone off the hook. So when she'd call, it was a busy signal, as if I was on the Internet night just. Leave the house like one time I got caught, like, oops, but yeah, and with her, I even understand it because I have an uncle I've never met because he disappeared when he was seven and you just never seen or heard from again. But I think those things are still going to happen. Whether you like your you can't be looking at your child's location 24/7. Yeah. There's always going to be those blind spots danger. You have to just have to have a little faith in them. I mean, if they're too young, they shouldn't be out by themselves anyway. Yeah. Then once they're old enough to be on their own, like hopefully they know like what's right and wrong, you go. That's part of the job of parenting is before they reached that age, just teaching them some things are dangerous, some things are some things you're not going to know. You just got to gamble in life sometimes.
See, I always for myself, I always kind of lived by like I have to learn from my own mistakes. And I snuck out when I was a teenager. And people probably are sitting here thinking, you still sound like a teenager.
Well, as a teen, me and my friends would I would tell my mom I was staying at a friend's house and I would definitely be somewhere else. And but like my mom, she always had to text me like where I was. And I always had to make sure that I answered so she wouldn't get too suspicious. But I learned I learned how to get her out and stuff like that.
Yeah. Your kids will find a way no matter what era. I'm surprised there's not apps out there that just let you tell your phone, hey, I'm here. Yeah. If my parents ask, I'm at McDonald's for eight hours for no reason. Yeah. That that's a business opportunity for us coming soon.
No, definitely not. We don't want to we don't want to do that wink wink.
Because about all we have to say on that.
I think so. All right. So on a lighter note, let's get into some TV. Guilty pleasure. Is anything that you've been bingeing, anything that you've been loving?
My aunt all TV. I have some movies I am a sucker for found footage, movies, and I don't know why, like Blair Witch, Blair Witch or one of my favorites is Project Almanac. How you ever seen that?
I watch Now project all the time. But that Chronical know the one with the party Project X.
Yeah, yeah. That was good too. But a project almanac is some high school kids that stumble upon time travel technology.
I remember it coming out.
I watched that movie so times and it doesn't end in any places even remotely satisfying. Like pretty much every found footage movie I get to the end of it whitewashes that I knew going in these never and in a way that like wraps up neatly like any other story in. Yeah, I'll just watch them over and over again. I just can't help myself.
Speaking of like Blair Witch, did you watch the new one that came out like a year or so ago?
Yes. And it cracks me up because when the movie got over, someone in the theater said, you just know they're going to make a third one.
This was the third one.
Well, OK, so second in the series, third in the movies. So Blair Witch, The Blair Witch two was a completely different movie than the first one. It was the same like found footage, but like the first and the third are actual chronical chronological together. So like the second one was based off of the first one where they found the footage of the guy's sister. Right.
The second one had nothing to do with them, actually did like the people went out in the woods trying to, like, track the path of the original team. Yeah, but then it wasn't even mostly found footage. It was just bad. Yeah, none of them are especially great.
But I did like the third one a little bit though. The third one was interesting I think just because like the effects were better.
Yes. And it was definitely better than the first one where I remember when it came out thinking, man, this is mind blowing and this is the future of movies. It's totally different than anything I've seen before. In retrospect, it's just a bunch of college kids wandering the woods yelling, fuck, yeah, pretty much lost. Fuck, you lost the map. What you do with the compass? Yeah, it's just. Yeah, it's not as great as I remember. Did you see they're coming out fairly soon. I watch video game.
Yes. It's it's out or at least some like streamers have like early access to it because a few people that are on Twitter right now I've been playing and it's cool. See isn't it from the same people, is that the same game that whereas from until dawn, is that the same creator. I really can't be because until dawn, creators have are putting another game in.
I was thinking maybe we'll see the until dawn one is like man from a Dan or something like that.
I'm not really sure, but that was a game.
I need to finish it. I started it and it feels like something that just takes time. Yeah, I don't really have that time to put into it, especially since most games I like to just screw around. Yeah. Like Red Dead Redemption, Grand Theft Auto. I will never finish the story just because I spent all my time being a horrible person and robbing people. Yeah, but I'm excited about the Blair Witch game. I want to play it at the same time. I probably won't because most horror video games, I just know very quickly I like horror movies, but when it comes to being an active participant, I'm just not.
That's how I feel about, um, Resident Evil seven.
That's how I feel about every resident evil. I've tried to buy my armor. One, I didn't get too far into the game. And all of a sudden I'm being chased by this giant, like half man, half oversized cockroach, whatever. Yeah. I just know on the first it was on gamekeepers, I wasn't even that great a graphic.
So, uh, the, um, some, um, PlayStation. Sometimes they'll put out games from their original and we downloaded the second one or knows the first one and the camera angles. You're not, it's not first person it you're playing from a camera over in this corner, this corner or it's the front facing like you're watching yourself walk towards the screen now. Yeah. It was just terrible.
Tell you a horror movie I would actually like to play. I'm not sure how you would make it work as a game screen. I love the Scream franchise. So we also when I was in high school, I was in computer programming class and we had to make some random program where like there's a quiz and people had to answer it. There weren't any requirements to go above and beyond. But I was an overachiever in that class and I figured out how to use internal speakers in the computer tower to simulate a ringing phone. So I turned mine into a Scream movie trivia question game like, you know, the phone calls that Ghostface makes in the movies. Yeah, I did all the like line commands to draw like Ghost Faces face on the screen and ask Rancheria questions about video game. Phone ringing I was really proud of that.
The screen has just always forever going to be scary movie to me.
It's scary really to cover on it. The original Scream is probably one of my favorite horror films.
In fact, I've actually never seen any other screen movies because I was just a giant pussy when I was a kid. And so, like, I didn't start coming around watching scary movies until I was probably like about seventeen.
We're definitely going to have to correct that. The original is a classic. The sequels are rubbish except for the fourth, but yeah, we have to fix that. OK, so what do you got.
So minor all TV shows.
But like I have this thing where I love watching TV, like cooking shows. I freakin love Gordon Ramsay.
That's all right. Let's do it. Yeah.
But like last night, besides Gordon Ramsay, like I love Hell's Kitchen and then he's got one show that's out knew that was to avoid for twenty four hours to hell and back in MasterChef. I love MasterChef Junior. Now it's Kim. But last night for whatever reason, I started watching, um, cake cause I don't know why, but like one of my favorite TV shows is unwrapped, so it's basically like it's have to host. The new one is who's going to replace Carlton from Fresh Prince Alfonso Ribeiro. Yeah, he's the host now. Basically Unwrapped is a show that goes behind the scenes of these factories that make like candy and chocolate and all that and like shows you like the process that they do. It's really cool. But Food Network challenge back in, like the early 2000s, had chocolate sculpting, huge masterpieces that people would make out of cake, chocolate candy, like huge sculptures like three, four, five foot sculptures.
I love that stuff like that just blows my mind. People can do that.
And Hulu doesn't have a Food Network challenge, which makes me really mad. But TV cooking shows. Well, what's your second one?
Ok, along the same lines it was Kitchen Nightmares slash. A new one I've gotten into is Bar Rescue, which is basically Kitchen Nightmares.
Yeah, but it's got that one. Bulgar Yeah.
And he's pretty much just like Gordon Ramsay. He goes and calls people idiots and instead of rescuing the restaurant, rescues their bar and most of the time it doesn't work out because. They're idiots. I was watching one yesterday and this guy bought this place, it was already existing bar just decided to buy it, be the head chef because he had a chef background thought, you know, it's easy for me to switch from there to here. He had to be told that you couldn't keep cooked food next to raw fish.
I do remember that the heat, they went into the kitchen and this Mengiste just like, what are you doing? And the chefs, just like I don't see the problem. They're not touching. It doesn't matter. People are idiots.
I think that's one of the main things I love about those shows is like basic common sense that some people don't have Kitchen Nightmares, really Thermic and I for a loop, because it was just one of those things like I believe that some of the restaurants around here are pretty clean, or at least I like to think that. But like, seeing that really gave us a 180 on perspective.
Since you Berten, you'll love this one. I was watching just before I came over this bar. They had a gate to keep you from getting back in the bar, but it was fixed. So every single bartender had to crawl underneath it and then they had to crawl back out. And the way it was set up was like people like basically the servers where the bartender. So they had to go get the go crawler at the gate, don't mix the drink y fixed. I don't know. Those were the first things they took out when they remodeled the place. But it just cracks me up because you see them have to crawl under.
I can understand having gates on the end so people don't get back there, especially if it's like a super Hoppen place you just put up or down you.
Yeah, like maybe like it needs to know.
It was it wasn't even as if they had screwed it into place. It was just extra length to the bar that went to the wall. It was the dumbest thing I've ever seen. Like I got remember to tell it later when I'm at the bar. We don't have anything like that because most people are idiots. They know they can't go back behind the bar. Yeah. What's your next big house on it?
I love house hunters. I don't know, I, I don't know if I just hit that peak age where, like, Eatures TV became like super appealing, but householder's just blows my mind up, just like the nit picky people out there.
Like I've been seeing a lot of young couples. I have like an actual reasonable how. Right. But then you just have the people like I, I don't do anything, blah, blah, blah, my husband, blah, blah, blah.
This our budget is six million or even better, their budget is like ten dollars, but the requests are about six million.
Just like the nit picky like these realtors can only do so much, especially in certain areas that people are looking for and when they like. Well, I told you I didn't want this. I'm like, well, this is what's in your price range. So this is what you're getting.
And a lot of times you're not going to find any house that fits every single. Yeah, if you want a house that fits all of your requirements, build a house that fits all your requirements are you go to like they have the suburbs that are like popping up and you can go look at their model home.
Yeah. And you can add stuff to it, but that's six, seven grand just to add certain things to it. It's just so ridiculous. I just love watching it.
How people can beat that out of touch. Another one. Yeah. Last one.
How this is such a guilty pleasure. Ancient aliens love that show.
Well they show love that show, not even just ancient aliens. Anything that has to do with even a hint of lost civilizations. It's like crack to.
Can we just say like Giorgio Sukkoth just makes it show.
Yeah. If we could get him as a third host on this show, that would be great. Oh, my God. That's what we'll have to do if this ever turns into a video podcast. Yeah, we'll have to do an episode where we're just going this hair for him. Teach him how, Giorgio, this is what a comb looks like.
Uh, you know that he's like one of the main producers on the show now, don't you? Yeah. So it just has gotten like it's really interesting to see theories like that because they make it so convincing on certain thing. And I just I love the show sometimes.
It's such a stretch. Yeah. My go to when I describe what a stretch it is, is they were doing an episode about lost technological weapons and he did a whole thing about how clearly Excalibur King Arthur sword. Yeah. Must have been a lightsaber with biometric imprints and that's how it knew who could pull it from this stone. Makes perfect sense to me, which doesn't make sense because, like, Excalibur wasn't the one he pulled from a stone. But whatever. No, it was. Just anything to do with lost civilizations, you for a little kid, I was obsessed with Atlantis and to this day, anything about Atlantis I just love. But at one point, fifth or sixth grade, I was pretty sure that my future career was I was going to launch a submarine and I was going to, like, just travel the oceans of the world until I found Atlantis to think aliens are real.
Fight me if you think I'm wrong. And to when I think of Atlantis, I think of Futurama and the lost city of Atlanta, everything goes back to Futurama.
I'm not sure about aliens. That's why it's OK. That's one of those things. I'm not sure aliens visit us. I think probability wise, it's pretty arrogant to think we're the only intelligent life in the entire universe. Yeah. So, I mean, I'm sure there's probably something out there.
There's something watching us that's just laughing at the entire stupidity of the world. Did you have one more? I have a couple, but I'll make them shortly. Sabrina, the teenage witch back to the 90s thing. Yeah. Melissa Joan Hart. It's on Hulu. I've been binge binge watching it, and I forgot how good that show was, and I loved it as a kid.
Anyways, I love to TGI Fridays or TGIF is what they call it. Yeah. Yeah. The world.
Sabrina, I love that show. Believe me, others would be American pickers just cause it's really cool to see, like history and stuff. And I love history anyway. But my last one would be an animated show called Gravity Falls. It's so good. And it's just one of those animated shows like when it came out, it came on Disney, DACs or whatever. And so I thought it was just like some dumb kid show. And the Mickey started watching is like, you have to check the shots. I think you'd really like it in the sense of humor in it is just beyond just any kind of kid show.
Yeah, there's been a few kids' shows I've seen like that. I like The Adventures of Billy and Mandy.
Oh my God. It's seriously one of my favorite shows.
So many things in that that no child is going to get the OK Cartoon Network back when that show first came around was like prime. It was it made for little kids.
It was made for like older kids and teenagers or Teen Titans, the original Titans. When none of that Teen Titans bullshit this TV show there was on Cartoon Network, bring back Teen Titans. Let's build an audience for this podcast. Then we we mobilize we we take any of those people that might have been considering storming Area 51. And instead we all just go to the Cartoon Network headquarters. We storm Cartoon Network and make them bring back the original.
The thing is, is that the creators of Teen Titans go have fully admitted that they fucked up and that Teen Titans go is just a shitty ass show. But there's so many children watching is like it gets the views.
Have you ever seen this a bit from Teen Titans go where they get shown like video footage from different realities where the Teen Titans exist. And one of them is footage from the original Teen Titans cartoon. And all of the time it's like, wow, that looks so much better than what we've seen.
Yeah, I do know what you're talking about. It's just such a good show and it had such a good storyline to it to bring it back. Bring it back. OK, are you ready to play a game. Yeah.
Games should have phrased that differently. Sounds like we're about to enter Samone. Are you ready to play a game or how. Or if. I need I need that creepy doll. OK, so we're going to try this little game that we made up and we call let me tell you about what we're going to do is we're going to each draw a topic of a bucket and then we're going to try to rant about that topic as long as we can, as if we're just some random drunk you found in a bar. And you have to start every rant with. Let me tell you about Blank. Do you want to go first? Yes, I do, actually. All right. I can't wait for this. This can either go really bad or it's going to be amazing.
This is so feeling. Let me tell you about them aliens, them aliens.
I swear they're sitting there watching us and they know everything that we're thinking about and they're going to just come down and scoop us up and robust.
And, um, they real man, they're so real. And they they just go and take us out, you know. You know what I mean? They just go and come get us and they go and wipe us out.
And I feel like you a. There, you know, I mean, go, oh, I'm so sorry, me.
All right, my take, the aliens are going to get you, man, OK?
So when I was making these topics, for some reason, something possessed me to make some that we're going to be hard to rant about.
You're telling me it just came to bite me in the ass? Good. All right. Let me tell you about ice cream. Go on. I hate that shit. It's so cold. It hurts your teeth. It's all sugar and dairy and it hurts my tummy.
Hurts my tummy, too.
And yeah, that that I got nothing. I don't know what possessed me to. Maybe I was just trying to scare you or move or maybe I thought I could come up with more material.
Uh, no. Let me tell you about the cure for cancer. It ain't happening, bitches. Well, it probably has happened. The government is hiding it from us because that's what they do best. But nobody's getting it.
And no cancer for you and no little kids for you and cancer for you. And that's what's happening. And you ain't getting the cure.
I could hear somebody at a bar going on the evidence I think I could to hate.
They were getting out of here because I had some weird ones.
Let me tell you about the Illuminati. Go on. They're watching us and they watch us right now. Probably not all seeing eye sees us because it sees all. Mm hmm. And they control everything. You know, they sunk the Titanic, probably. Mm hmm. Mm hmm. Let me tell you about the Illuminati.
Oh, now I'm a little drunk, OK? I'm drunk and ran.
Ok, so the Illuminati, they control all the banking. They control the music industry.
Probably I could see that they killed Jeffrey Epstein, probably. And they're the ones who decided that you could put pineapple on pizza. But they're shit. They're evil, evil people.
Yeah. They put pineapple on their fucking pizza. That's all I got. That was really good. I like the Jeffrey I've seen part. Let me tell you about dry skin.
Do tell.
Oh, dry skin. I got them Chafey elbows in my skin is actually and itchy and is not good man. No amount of lotion I put on makes me feel better. And if my toes my feet I get dry heels man. Not really fucking suck but I do get really bad dry heels and that really fucking sucks then. But, but when you have an itchy laying in the middle of the night I dry heel really comes in handy. But let me tell you about that dry skin. Winter's coming bitches and there ain't no hope for anybody.
Well if we learned anything from Goldmember, it can be a snack too.
I forgot about that.
That's so fucking gross. And I can literally see my Michael Myers pale in his skin off. It's. Oh, wait. No, it was not Michael Myers.
I was no, it was Mike Myers that was gold member. But when you're saying Michael Myers, I'm picturing the killer from Halloween, just you know what?
This will scare people even more.
I just peel my skin off and stick it in my mouth.
It's not even a mask he's wearing.
It's just dry skin on his face, just peels off the cheeks, you know, so much more terrifying than, oh, what are you going to do with the knife was predictable.
Love six oh.
Oh, God.
Moving on. I'll draw my next one. Uh, look, let me tell you about curling iron. Oh, that shit. It gets so hot. Why does it have to be so hot? You have any idea how many times I've burnt my forehead? I am right there with you just trying to get those perfect girls. I just don't get it. Why can't they come up with a better solution when I know there has to forget cold fusion? We need cold curling today.
See, I put that one in there because when I made those, I just curled my hair. And I don't know how many times I touched my neck with my curlier. Yeah. Do you see my curling iron? Yeah. You describe what it looks like to people.
I'd rather not say it looks like it could be a bit of a sexy.
I don't know what the brand thought of when they made this clear, but it raged and that's that could lead to some very unfortunate burns. Yeah, it makes really nice curls, though, I will admit, like, it curls really well, but it's very not nice.
Let me tell you about curling irons. Right. Have you ever tried to use one in the production of a pawn? No, man, that that is an awkward hospital. Is it? I'm sorry. I thought it was on plot.
Oh, no. Oh, no.
But at least they were well curled down there.
But no, I think what's worse is that I have it image in my head.
Is there any puppeteer involved at the same time? I don't know. Maybe I should. My vagina doctor Reed Evangelistic. Good lose made a weird turd.
Oh, there's a reason there's an explicit content warning on this podcast.
Speaking of hot thing, let me tell you about glue gun. OK, they may make things stick well, but hot glue burns people and you lose feeling at the tip of your fingers after a while, if you glue and shit and waiting for that glue to melt just really sucks because I got shit to make. And glue guns are the fastest thing because I probably shouldn't be led around like staple guns or glue guns. Let me tell you about them. They are dangerous. They hurt. It's hot glue. Hot. Yeah, glue hot.
This episode is brought to you by the burn cream of your choice.
Curling irons, glue guns, little next Illuminati.
You probably burn if you give them a chance.
I love Ainata Aluminite. OK, let me tell you about getting paid.
See, sometimes you got to do whatever you got to do. You got to work that hustle. You gotta maybe make some back alley deals, steal some shit, blow some shit, whatever it takes to get paid. It ain't easy on the streets.
It ain't easy being cheesy.
No tenpin ain't easy either. Getting paid you just got. Yeah. Get up. You got put in the work, go to a job, you bust your ass, work on tables, sit that bread dancin for man, you know, whatever it takes you dance for men. Hey I said whatever it takes because you got to get paid.
Get the bread. OK, this is weird. I love it. Yeah. It's harder than I expected. Are we ready for the second part of the games. Yes. What's our next game? All right. So this is something that Dan and I used to play when we worked well, it wasn't something we played, but when we worked together, as you all know, I like that emo scream shit. And when I talked about certain bands, Dan would always think that they were made up. And it's because you make up band names. I don't make up anything. None of these bands exist. That's what he thinks. So I have several bands written down and we're going to ask Dan which ones are real and which ones are so.
So what's the setup? Are you just going to give me one? And I have to tell you whether it's real or fake.
Yeah, OK, so I just have them listed out here and I wrote the ones that are fake and a different color, so I'm just going to name the bands off and you can't remember which ones are real or fake. Well, it just makes it I'm very color coordinated and so like just to know which one I'm on. OK, first Ben Alexander set real. It is. Yeah.
Yeah, it was a 50/50 chance. This is a 50/50 chance. Would they have made anything I had heard of. No.
Ok, definitely not the stuff I listen to. OK, there are a few in here that like I hope you know, but we'll see.
Have they ever appeared on the soundtrack to Tony Hawk?
I don't think so. OK, that's my best chance of hearing Tony Hawk procedure to best game ever. Halestorm That one's real. Yeah, I feel so proud that I do that.
See, I did throw a few in here that I hope, you know, I feel like Captain America in the first Avengers movie where he's just like, I got that reference just so proud.
Next, Ben grippe.
That sounds like it could be real, but I'm going to say it's fake.
Ding, ding, ding. You three for three, bitch. Yeah. Fuel think that's real. It is real. And you should know like a lot of their songs because they're like a late 90s and 2000 band. Sounds familiar. Metro station.
I would say that one is real. It is better at this game than I thought. I'm surprised he's real big fish fake real dancer ska band ska don't count. Watch your mouth boy. Every ska band, a fake band. You're fake. Moms affect effect, and I'm telling you, you think the odds are that she's going to hear this? Probably not. Yeah. Kids contour fake. They born of a serious eye. Sounds real in Israel. Owl City. That one's real. Real. I get way too excited. There was I obviously don't like Jeremy Lamb of God.
That sounds I'm going to say it's real, even if it's not a real band you listen to. That's got to be some real, like, lame Christian rock band.
No, they're heavy metal band.
I'm sure there's a lame Christian rock band called and probably motionless and white. That one's real. That Israel is my favorite band right there. I'm really happy that you got that. I've probably only heard of them from you. I don't know, probably burning pods. Fake fake Ariels fake. Fake. Yes. See, I didn't know if you get that one.
That seemed like it could be real. I'm like, she can switch system of a down. Come on I I'm not that close. I know.
System of a down c I wanted to put one easy one in there for you by Halestorm was the easy one.
See. OK, I put Ariels in there because system of a Down has a song called Ariels C. I don't know that that will pierce the veil. Real. Real. You are a lot better at this than I thought. Are you keeping score. Have I only missed one. Yeah. Cool. Never shout never fake real damn daylight real fake schaus going downhill is what we aim for.
This sounds like it could be a song instead. I want to go real.
It is real. See that one was one of the tricky ones that I threw in there because it was such a weird name.
I remember the first time I heard a Death Cab for Cutie I like. That's not a real band name.
Sure is though. Ear or Ivry fake fake new found glory. Real, real. Beside those kicker's sounds just bizarre enough to be real. Go real fake. And your last one is vampires everywhere. Real real. They super IMO banned. This was my final score. Um you got 18 22.
Cool. I did a lot better than I thought I was going to.
I can't wait to do this again.
You have to make it more challenging. I know. Although the ones I missed I think prove my point that these bands are trash. You better watch your mouth. Boy, the fact that you can't distinguish between that's a obviously made up band name and this is an actual band, like a personal point. They need to better whatever.
So literally, I just go through my iTunes on my computer and look at all my bands because like you can listed in alphabetical order of being name. And so I just had to just I picked and choose. And so how did you come up with your fake ones? I just typed in fake band names and Google and it gave me a random list that was just generated names. But there are some pretty like, uh, Bayone like pretty good names out there.
Pretty sure that's how most of those bands got their name. Know. So what we have next.
Well, in my favorite segment and it's our Urban Dictionary Word of the day to close out this show. OK, hit me Windjammer then the agonizing scream of a trapped turd.
What man?
I was so constipated the other day. I was letting all kinds of injuries left tonight but couldn't close the deal in the bathroom wall.
Who's having that conversation and with who?
You don't talk about poop with your best friend. Have I? I don't know. Probably not with me now.
Yeah. I can't say I ever hook up with friends and go, you know what? Let me tell you about this dump I took the other day. I probably need to start eating more fiber. Probably. I think on that note, we're going to go ahead in the show.
Uh, we hope you had a fun time today. We definitely had fun recording this. Yeah. Thanks, guys, for joining us. If you like the show, please be sure to subscribe on iTunes or wherever else you find your podcasts.
And for any of the latest updates, follow us on Facebook at My Kajiggers Podcast or follow the link in the show note. Be sure to tell us. Hi, because we always love hearing from you guys. And that's what you like. What you want to hear.
Yeah. If you have any ideas for things we should talk about in the show, just let us know. By Felicia. By Felicia.
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