Ep. 22: Babies Are Buoyant
Dan & Emily talk about the social relevance of 2008’s The Dark Knight and try to create their own summer blockbuster.
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Hey, guys, welcome back to My Kajiggers with Dan and Emily. Some guys this week we're back and we're going to be talking about the dark night. Are you know, I don't want to ever be Batman.
You sound like Batman with laryngitis. Absolutely. Which isn't much worse than Christian Bale. Batman, too, with Kovik going on all the movie delays. There's not a whole lot of summer blockbusters this summer. So we thought we would just talk about one from yester year, yet still a year.
How the fuck old are you, man? Tool.
Yeah, but no, like, I can't believe this movie's 12 years old now.
It's hard to believe because honestly, it was a very well May movie empire. To me, the last well-made Disney movie. But I also haven't seen a lot of the newest. Like, I haven't seen birds of prey or whatever. I don't follow Disney, so.
Right. It seems weird that Heath Ledger's been gone that long. Heath Ledger. Yeah, but before we end talking about The Dark Knight. Do you want to just catch up on our weeks?
Yeah. I haven't really done much. My brother has just come home from Florida. But because of Cauvin, they decided that instead of killing our family, that they were going to stay home because I mean, in the last few days alone, Florida spiked over 10000 Kantha. And they think that to be the safest and on the best side, they were going to stay home, which was very hard for both of my parents. But we manage and we'll see them eventually. And I think later on this week, I'm going to get with my mom. We're going to video chat with them.
That makes sense. I mean, the unpredictable times right now, it seemed like we were coming out of it. Now things are spiking again.
Just you just gotta be careful people and actually take precautions. But that's something for another time. That, too. But no, other than that, I mean, I started watching Biking, which is a History Channel show. It's on Hulu, too. I highly recommend it, but nothing now to stay in inside of Illinois. How does Buck and balls. Yes. So, listen, I haven't really done a whole lot.
I finally got my light saber.
He brought it with them, too. Is it not cool? Kind of, yeah. Yeah.
Thanks. Heavy too. But yeah, I'm glad that the gems are finally open. It kind of concerns me that now lol people are wearing masks in the gym, especially since you tend to help them pop when you're working out. But under my best I get a little cloth mask, I wear one on the treadmill and I'm using that time to try to get into the Clone Wars animated series.
Oh yeah, I, I remember one that came out and I watched a little bit of it, but I never got heavily into it.
This is probably the third or fourth time I've tried to start it. I'm getting a little bit further in, I understand. Gets better eventually, so I'll just stick it out. That's something I can kill time with on the treadmill.
I think you should totally watch leg on and Jogo. No, no. Real though. Like it is actually really good.
Maybe someday we'll see it the other day. I spent way too much time. I mean hours watching a YouTube channel of a real lawyer reacting to legal cases in movies. And then like four hours later, I stopped by man. I got to go. Like, I'm way too interested in boring shit. Like how many other people care about the legal principles on display in Ghostbusters two?
I mean, if you honestly think about it, it is interesting to think about because there's all this destruction and explosion then building lots and movies. And I mean, they brush it off as like, oh, it's nothing. We just just the heroes doing hero shit. And it's like, no, they don't rebuild their fucking house.
Yeah. The whole reason I got started watching that channel was because I found a video of this guy reacting to The Dark Knight. And he was counting up the different things that both the Joker and Batman could be charged with over the course of the movie, and then using that to calculate the maximum sentences that they could be facing. And he figured out that the Joker could face up to 12000 years in prison, but that man could be facing up to 60 million.
But it just it gets kind of scary, like, is the hero really a hero?
It was pretty irritated because the entire time this guy's just like, come on, Batman. How much destruction are you going to cause? But yeah. And then a whole lot going on in my life.
Not then. Everything in our town has finally started opening back up a lot. There's a few places that are still running their business, but still they're closed doors. But most businesses here have opened, which it's kind of opened up our sleepy little town. But people here do pretty well about taking. And now you're right. Absolutely not. But it's still I mean, when I'm out, I don't see as many people as I used to.
But I mean, it's concerning how many people are not only not wearing masks, but are adamant that they will never wear a mask. Like it's such a simple thing.
I mean, I wear one eight hours a day and then I go to the gym and wear one on the treadmill.
Or like my favorite videos that I've seen are the people with the CO2 monitor. Yeah, it's like, oh, look. So no change. It's not. I'm sorry that this minor inconvenience to help protect other people is harming you.
I'm at this point where I'm not that afraid I'm going to get it. I was at one point, but I don't see the point taking unnecessary risks. Oh, yeah.
I mean, I wear every business that I go in.
And I had a friend the other day wanting me to go see a movie which was just Deadpool their reshowing since there's nothing new. Even then, average, just like I'd like to hang out, but I'm not going to do it in a crowd like that.
It's just I mean, not worth it. I mean, people are actually in theater.
True. But it's kind of the point of why knowingly go out into a crowd. Yeah. I get also I don't want to sit in where Mac the whole time watching a movie. Yeah. Because what about eating popcorn. Yeah. Speaking of popcorn, I have a message for today. Spot. What. You sound disappointed already. So today's episode is brought to you by Breech Baby from the producers of Bivy.
What's in it, I broke it. Shall I continue?
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That's not what went through my head first, because when you're breached, it means that you never flipped. Yeah, though that's kind of the pun. I know.
Anyway, Breech Baby starring Jason Statham in theaters October 3rd. You're so disappointed.
Absolutely. By the way, do you never run these by me before he does them? So it's pure shock when I hear them. Of person just. I don't know how to react to that except just utter disappointment. Well, that's just the start. Oh, yeah.
Later, ads in the show gone. But now we've got that word from our sponsor.
Of the way while we start talking about The Dark Knight, do we also need to tell you that they're big sponsors, too, just so they know?
I don't know. I feel like if you think Breech Baby is an actual animated film starring Jason Statham as a baby wading through rivers of blood to get revenge, so babies wading through things of blood.
There's been viral videos of people like babies. And there's viral videos of like teaching, like, I guess she's a waterlily getting babies comfortable to water when they're young. So, like, if something traumatic happens when they're a little bit older, they have the feeling of, like, you know, being under like. And so as a water C D like it's an actual course you can take with your child and they toss the baby in the water and they jump in after and like lift it back up and like they're floating and kicking like babies are buoyant. And all I can think about is a baby. Jason Statham. Loten and the blood dislike kicking in play.
I can see that. And we just found the title of this episode. Babies are Boyette.
I get it. I'm pretty sure I've made a lot of it is titled.
Yeah. But yeah, let's go into our discussion on The Dark Knight. So I talked to you beforehand. I kind of want to get a little deeper into this because it would be really easy, this movie, to just spend an hour praising Heath Ledger's performance. It's probably my favorite comic book movie performance. He's just mesmerizing in this role. But I feel like that's been talked about so much already. Anywhere from where The Dark Knight has come up in discussion. So I thought we would try to look at it from like a social relevance point of view. So one quick, easy discussion we could have about this movie is just the Bolt dilemma. At the end, the movie frame by the doesn't remember the Joker plants bombs on a ferry full of regular civilians and terrible prisoners, gives them each a detonator and says a blow up the other boat before this time or I will blow you both up. And it's like this whole moral dilemma over both sides spin for ever trying to come to a decision on what they're going to do. You're in that position. What do you do?
It's hard because you also think about like, yeah, they're prisoners, but that's not like human life. And I mean, but no gets blown up. You all get blown up. I don't know, I'm not a martyr. Is that what it is? Yeah. I would probably put prison planes.
I don't even think it comes down to having to justify that they're prisoners. It could be another boat civilians. I'm pushing that button.
Yeah, it's survival of the fittest in a weird way.
All those can die or half of us can live knowing the Joker. And like, he's already pulled some switcheroo in this movie. Chances are if they did detonate it, they'd be blowing up their own boat. Yeah. Still, half the people live. In theory, in theory, there's the possibility that was going to blow up everybody. But, yeah, take that chance. I yeah, that's one of the things that annoys me about that part of the movie, is they just it's been way too long hemming and hawing about it. And then there's one guy who's painted as a dick because he's just like, well, they're prisoners. They had their chance to be good people. He's not Bronx. Well, he's kind of a dick. I mean, he doesn't even have to paint it in that light. You just have to be like, well, let's survive. Yeah, we might have a hard time living with it after the fact, but let's survive in that situation.
Let's hear a little bit. S.E., you want your works up, save Gober slightly.
Yeah. When this movie came out, it was considered pretty socially relevant because it had a whole war on terror surveillance state thing. Go on for it. I think it's still fairly relevant, but in different ways. I mean, those are still issues we have. But now we're having this national discussion about corruption in police departments. And so much of this movie is about how corrupt the entire city government of Gotham is. I have issues with both like Harvey Dent Commission, Gordon and Lucious Box. I have real issues with them in this movie because at multiple points they all try to come off as the good people and criticize people for making moral compromises. But every single one of them makes moral compromises.
Yeah, they do. I mean, Gorton's in the position where he is chief. So it's like, well, I'm going to do this for myself.
And I give Gordon some credit because at start the movie, he's not commissioner. He's just detective or something like that. And Dent criticizes him for working with. Cops that didn't investigate. When he was in internal affairs and gauzes, just like I didn't work with people, you investigated. I'd be working alone. And he has a great quote. It was. I don't get political points for being an idealist. I just gotta make do with what I got. Yeah. How do you feel about that? Recently, there's been a lot of talk about if you have one bad cop. A thousand good cops. Well, then you have 1001 bad cops. The only way Gordon can get anything done is I work at cops.
I guess it's that simple diet, because if you know that they are doing wrong, then something needs to be done about it. But if you're going to nit pick every single bad thing that a person has done, then that leaves you with nothing. Like, how are you supposed to say it? You can't be the only up in a city, especially with that big Gotham as opposed to B. Yeah. You have to try and still find that they are somewhat reputable, are not reputable like a working cop. That's still going to try and help you because it's never going to be. There probably are straight good cops, but the majority of the time they're proud. There is going to be some downfall. Each of them. And you just keep picking and picking at it.
Yeah, I find they're working with Batman so problematic. I mean, we see in this movie the cops are supposedly trying to track down Batman, but at the same time, he just walks his way into a crime scene on multiple occasions. The other cops are just like. We'll just leave you alone with Gordon for a minute.
He holds like a strange power. Like, I don't know if it's like his eerie presence is just like, oh, really? What? Wanna fuck with him? And then leisurely. Yeah. We're totally gonna capture you. And then they don't.
Yeah. I don't know. I don't know. Cause I mean it would be kind of fucking creepy. A white guy dressed in a black tight suit came over and was talking in a weird voice.
Yeah. Publicly they're supposed to be arresting him, but he just shows up. Okay.
That's all I think. I think he's intimidating. There's like we really don't want to mess with it. But I also wonder if it's like we don't really want to know who is underneath. Yeah. Like we do.
And we know there's a lot of winking and nodding going on in this movie between him, Gordon and Dent. Yeah. Which really bothers me, especially when Gordon lets Batman beat a prisoner in no like interrogation room and then he takes it to Forester's, beat them too much. And Gordon's like, oh, I gotta stop this. What the fuck did you think was going to happen?
Speaking of beating people, the scene where the Joker makes that pencil disappear. Yes, that's probably one of my favorite part in the whole entire movie is you see, that's a great moment.
It's kind of lost his charm because I've seen it so many times. But I remember the first time I saw that lapping it held darkly. Yeah. Just the cops in this movie. You see them at one point they deny medical treatment to a guy in the holding cell who was complaining about his chest hurting, which ends up being a bomb. Yeah. At the end, when they're going into a hostage situation, those SWAT members are very quick to just shoot on sight and almost kill his own people. There's another cop at one point that is left in charge of watching the Joker wall. Gordon and Batman go to rescue Rachel Dent and he goes to try to beat the Joker into being his hostage. And the Joker gets away because for him, that cop is back on duty the very next day.
Yeah, if that would have happened is like you let him go like you, you either need to be like on desk duty or like go.
Well, he got away because you were going to engage in police brutality. Man, this this police force really does not have their shit to you. No, absolutely not. It's so bad. At one point, Gordon and didn't argue about where they're going to hold a prisoner because neither the county jail or the precinct holding cells are safe. Not because of the prisoners in them, but because they're afraid of a cop that's owned by the mob is going to kill him. But yet other people making compromises box creates this great surveillance sonar system on phones, gives Bruce the prototype, and then is outraged that Bruce Wayne takes it further and develops it into a functioning surveillance for the entire city.
What did he expect? Because, I mean, all the things that Bruce Wayne is, he's a fucking genius, like he's an incredibly smart person. So obviously he's going to try and be like, OK, well, I have this. How can I make it better? And. Well, he didn't.
I'm confused what he thought Bruce Wayne was going to do with that. OK. I've used this one time. I'll just forget it exists. Yeah. And then he ends up working with Bruce anyway, even though he's pissed off and he finds it unethical. It again, goes back to my point of these people criticizing Bill for making moral compromises. But then they just give in. No one has a backbone. Also, that's a really weird line to draw for Fox because the first time he gives Bruce the technology, it's so he can kidnap a guy who may be laundering money for the mob maybe and create an international Internet to bring him back to the United States. But then he finds it unethical to use that equipment to track down a terrorist that has killed numerous people throughout the city already and is threatening to kill more. Although I just find that a shaky argument for Lucius to be making. It's just a weird line to draw near. You want to kidnap a maybe criminal? OK. Can't be Stabenow terrorists, though.
The logic in a movie like this is just superb.
How do you feel about that surveillance? I mean, it's obviously illegal as fuck. But I'm kind of an ends justifies the means.
Can a guy like Sanders do it? Got it. Do you like.
Let's take back my other equation. It's the government.
I mean, you know, Bill, about government. It it's creepy. It kind of is really, really creepy. It is creepy because, I mean, they are using that to I mean, literally despite to find somebody and hacking in.
It's terrifying.
My view on it is I'm okay with it. I don't know about if there is a situation where they have to do something like this to catch somebody like the Joker. As long as I don't know. You did it by. If you're stupid enough to get caught. I'm still glad you did it. Yeah, but you broke the law and you you have to face those consequences.
Yeah, that is a good point because I mean, most of the time is that technology is used to find bad, bad people, but sometimes it does overlap into like, you know, spying and personal people.
Like this is an argument people been having at least since 2001 and the World Trade Center. But even before that, for me, safety comes first. Then you can worry about the privacy rights. Again, I think if you get caught, you should get punished.
But if you are going to get caught or something, why are you doing it in the first place? You know, the feeling will know why are you do. But no. In a way, I do kind of agree with you that, yes, safety first, like it is dealing with like really extremely violent, evil people. Then, I mean, yeah, you have a point. But I mean, how many normal lives is it going to actually.
But I mean, there's always a possibility it could be used to take out political opposition and stuff like that. Yeah. But yeah. Along those same lines of not getting caught. I have a huge issue with the bat signal on this movie when it public policy that the cops are trying to hunt down Batman and they're advertising every night in the nighttime sky. Hey, we're talking with Batman. A lawyer would have a field day with that technically evidence that Batman gave the cops, according to the videos I've watched on legal principles. And so the cops could use as an anonymous tip. But if they're actively working with Batman, that's no different than the cops going and saying, well, we can't get a warrant. We'll just hire a private detective and have them break into somebody else.
Yeah, literally, that man's word would never stand up and logic or a law because, I mean, one, they're not he's not you know, he's not going to appear in court and you have to be able to face your accuser. That, too. But like, he's not an official officer of the law. So any evidence that he does actually pick up is like terminated and to inadmissible. It would never stand up in a in a legit court of law because he illegally obtained it. Any evidence from any in any kind of Batman scenario?
Babb brings me to another point. Bruce Wayne's cabin asshole in this movie. Yeah. And part of it is just the way he treats himself as better than that is one of the biggest reasons I don't like Batman. He's a dick when he goes into a crime scene. At one point he tells the cops to leave the room before they contaminated eggs. He used me. I was just like, OK. At what point when you were going to ninja school, Bruce Wayne, did they cover evidence and Wayne and recovery? He's not the most qualified person to be performing that job.
Maybe he wasn't such a genuine. I've gotten back broken and I don't. Honestly, I haven't seen that that bad. Man movie, so I don't know exactly why it is bad, Bergman makes up that his biting Bane. But in this context, maybe you should have gotten your back broken for being it.
Well, that's another point I have about him, is he claims he has no physical limits or at the very least, he can't afford to know them. You need to know your physical limits.
He's human like he is a legit human being, unlike Superman is an alien dance completely fucking different. You are a literal human being. You've got the physicality and the strength that you have is absolutely impossible. And I mean, I'm not saying like knowing all of the martial art and every, like, technique, but he knows it isn't impossible. But the physical strength that he and everything else that he can do is impeccable. Yeah, it's an extent.
I mean, money is a superpower. But, yeah, he treats himself as better than the other vigilantes that show up. And part of it is they're not as well equipped to keep people out, tells them the differences. I'm not wearing hockey pads. And granted, he also did go to ninja school.
It sounds so lame when we talk about it, like you're calling it ninja school.
Well, that's what it was. He went to the mountains and learned how to be a ninja.
It's also not like you said that he's got money. Is this per pack power? So, like, no, it is not fair that he has been able to use money to buy all these gadgets and shit.
Here's my point is he thinks he's better because he has all this training and equipment. He could hire these people, provide them with better training and equip them with less lethal means of stopping crime than the shotguns that they're running around with.
Yeah, just because he has all of this stuff doesn't make him and actually doesn't make him an actual good person.
No, he's carry such an asshole on this movie. I love Batman, but look at it from like a real world perspective.
He's such a dick is intentions. I guess you can say when people are they're innocent, but it doesn't go balloted in the right way. And then he lets his emotions get to him.
And also, like he presents himself as if he's making the sacrifice of giving up this time in his life to right the wrongs of the city. And then eventually the city will need to me more and he can stop being Batman. You think that dead parents can humble you a little bit, but like, I don't feel like he actually believes in justice. Because the future that he's setting himself up for isn't one where, OK, the city doesn't need me anymore. I'll turn myself in. And I'll atone for what I've done. No. His idea of the future is. Well, Harvey Dent's here. The city. It's not going to need me that much longer. I can retire and be with Rachel, who just happens to be dating Harvey Dent, and I'm going to fuck with that relationship.
That's another thing, is what kind of piece of shit does that? Well, weren't they a thing before? And then they broke up. Then she got sort of it's almost like if I can't have you nobody.
And he just seems to be in denial about what's happening in like they obviously have a connection. But she's clearly happy with Harvey. He runs into her at a restaurant and just sits and on their date. And then like a week later, he ruins their next date to go to the ballet.
Want a piece of shit? And then literally, Batman is the reason why Rachel is dead. And the fact that Harvey is mutilated is literally the reason that that has happened. So, wait, put that up.
That date where the person has prima ballerina date, meet up with Rachel and Harvey. I love this scene because, like, it's a nice discussion of Batman's place in society, although it bothers me that Harvey justifies it as almost a political protest against the corruption in the city. What also bothers me is Bruce seems to have a very attractive, intelligent date. Who can talk about like history and Caesar and ethics. And we never see her again. He's just using her. Those are two way side.
And I'm back on Rachel. Why would you throw that away? I mean, Rachel. Yes. Is also very intelligent person, but like, why not go for that? Like, if she is also intelligent, like, you know, that solved a lot of problems in this movie. Yeah.
That scene, the whole either die hero or you live long enough, become the villain. One, it's obviously foreshadowing what happens to dead. Feel like there's a little bit of truth in that statement. Not any literal. You become a villain and you start killing people.
But you're so tired of being good that it I mean, incrementally wear on you.
But like to say or the world just beat you down. Yeah. You go from ideals to. Well, we make some compromises and to realist. Yeah. I don't just mean that like the popular conception of morality changes over time. We've. Talking about recently, like how frustrated I've been with. It just seems like the goalposts keep moving. What's decent? The whole Black Lives Matter movement. Bob Nagger has criticized the movement itself. It's a valid point. People shouldn't be killing people just because they're black. But the way I was raised and grew up, it was try to be colorblind. You don't treat people any race any different than your own race. We're all the same. And you don't discriminate. It was that simple. And now it's like that isn't enough. The younger generation, for better or worse, this time, an activist leaning to the generation undermine where it's OK. That's great that you're not hurting people, but what are you doing to help them? Which that's noble. It just feels like, oh, OK. So the standards shifted on me. And, you know, older generations, they they had their own standards generations before that. I mean, right now we're dealing with historical figures that are problematic now because of things they did that were acceptable in their lifetime. So I. I just think that that whole statement of either die hero you live or come a villain like morality just changes with the times. If you don't change with it, then you end up being on the wrong side of history.
I mean, I don't have anything to say. It just be reiterating what you said. So. Okay. I mean, the point that you've made are very valid. And I mean, we're not that far apart in age, but in a sense, we did grow up and two different generation.
Technically, we're in the same generation just on opposite ends. Yeah, it's very frustrating for me to be like, well, I'm just trying to treat people nice and other just. What are you doing to help them? Oh, okay. Yeah. Oh. Just dial and my whole life. But no. Yeah. It's just a wee little tangent I guess. I went on about vigilante's like just idea vigilante's.
They just it bothers me because it's sometimes being narrow isn't the right answer. There are other ways to go about it. Like I can understand to an extent, like at some if something is happening that's bad and it's not. Nothing is getting done to do it. You have to one, you have to respect law. But also at the same time, like the law isn't doing what they're supposed to be doing. Something needs to happen.
Then you also end up with people interpreting the law.
Yeah, it's it's such a back and forth state, I guess you could say, because to an extent, it's so hard to just guess, because I do think people should. I don't think people should be vigilantes, but I do think that there should be something done. Like I said, if the law isn't working, then maybe in the right ways, try and help get it, you know, push forward and be like, hey, this really needs attention. Or like, why is nothing getting done about this? But don't don't be the asshole person you. And make it worse.
Yeah. Like, I think that's where, like, there's room for activism rather than just being a vigilante. Because, I mean, you could assume people are trying to do right by being vigilantes.
But that doesn't mean they are doing right, because if they actually physically go do the vigilante stuff, then what happens if somebody gets hurt or you get hurt?
What happens when some yokels decide to chase down some black guy running through their neighborhood and it turns out they did nothing wrong?
Yeah.
And then he is dead. Or you end up with, like, the whole George Zimmerman thing of starting altercations. Just if you've got an issue, call the cops.
Yeah, but you're right. Like activism to a point and keeping it as peaceful as possible. But don't don't step because the whole legal thing is it's like I said, if something were to happen to a person or to your cell, then people are going to be like, OK, well, what about the justice for those person that got injured or died because of doing that? So it's like, well, they shot a man doing that in the first place. I don't know. It it it it's such a tangled mess.
And I love superheroes so much. But the idea of a real world superhero terrifies me. Yeah, Batman would be bad enough, but something like Superman who can fly across the world in seconds and he's just like a God that nobody can take down. He's free to just impose whatever laws he decides on, any given day, whether they're actually written laws or not. That just terrifies me. Yeah, me too. Which I think is one of the reasons I love Amazon's the boys. There's a nice Superman analogue and that. Was there anything else that stood out to you?
Not really. I've seen this movie so many times, but it's a movie to me now. And I mean, like I said, my favorite part is the one I see with pencil disappeared. Yeah. And just the mind of the Joker is. So vastly crazy and wild, but I mean, again, wartime. Heath Ledger here. I think we. Heath Ledger probably did one of the best jobs portraying the Joker in this style of movie because it showed how just crazy he actually was rather than just being, you know, it, Jack. Nick Sin's was kind of like goofy into your buying. But like, Heath Ledger's was terrifying.
Yeah. He's very methodical. And it makes you wonder what his deal is because he is such a wide skill set. It's an amazing character.
And it's so sad that he's gone because that in me that I would want to see what other roles, like would have been operating in, like the way that I would have changed movies if he was still alive.
You can't take your eyes off him when he's on screen in this movie. And it's to me, just such a gift to fans of the character. Zali, I'd say on The Dark Knight that I don't like Batman.
I don't know. I mean, I don't I'm not a huge DC fan. And but, like, this is probably one of the best Batman movies. Blake. I also really liked Batman Forever, whichever one has the penguin in it. Oh, Barry Returns. Yeah, Batman Eritrean. I like Saladin, of course. Oh. Belike I'm not a huge fan of Batman, but like this was this was a good movie. And I mean, I don't have good or bad to say about a I mean, it wasn't very well put together movie links. I was probably the last really good DC movie.
Yeah. I mean, I love Batman, but if I'm looking at Kirklees, he's an asshole.
Oh yeah. This is we're still talking about movies and what not. Dan, this other sponsor you have.
Okay. What we're about to do is we're going to one of my favorite things on the most fun things we do on the podcast is try to come up with our own movie. In this case, our own summer blockbuster, since there's a lack of real summer blockbusters this year. But first, I want to tell our listeners about another way they can have fun. War Games Toys is proud to present their new toy line based on the upcoming family film Breech Baby shaking her.
Aren't you disappointed this isn't your usual baby doll, but limited edition life sized breech baby comes ready for action. Press the button on his back and breech baby does his signature roundhouse kick. Because you can always count on breech baby to come at you. Pete first and check out is color changing skin with a little splash of water. It turns red to recreate that familiar blood drenched look from the film's finale. And villains better watch out for breech babies. Iconic ballistic diaper shrapnel rebill, sold separately. And we're proud to introduce the war games line of role-play toys. Your kids will enjoy arming up like breech baby. These toys are based on the real weapons of war used by police departments around the country. We know cops shouldn't be the only ones having fun playing soldier all purchase subject to a full federal background check and list purchased at a gun show. And don't forget to see Breech Baby starring Jason. See them in theaters January eight.
So there's a void in only Wern. You can always count on breech baby to come out your feet first.
Why not? He likes to kick. He's a martial artist. Yeah, we'll go back and play. As I originally wrote this, a bunch of them like well to breech baby. It should be a kick. I'm not having it. No, you're not buying those toys here. It's now your your kids play soldiers like the cops.
Naphthalene, I wish we had video to see this. Just pure shock and disappointment on my face.
Okay, so while we go into our little game of trying to come up with a summer blockbuster, so there's different types of summer blockbusters, you know, there's alien invasion, superhero movies, two hour long toy commercials.
Do you think we should make a movie about our Moon Man had? It's I feel like that's more of a Hollywood movie. I know. I mean, summer blockbuster sequel when we first came up. Rise of Moonwalker. Yes. Because we I on about this when we first decided that we are going to do a summer blockbuster, Moonwalker was the first thing I came my head and I was like, what if we just ripped off JT? Friday the 13th where like, you know, he died a summer camp and now he's back.
But if I want to go back and listen to that episode, it is Episode nine, Bride of Moonwalker. I still can't get over it. That was so. Okay, so we got an action movie. I don't think we ever establish that guy's actual name. So he's just our nameless astronaut in an action movie. I guess with him being an astronaut, an alien invasion really makes no sense. Okay. Wow. Where do we start? Here.
So why. E one. You know, just a typical family man. He's an astronaut. Well, he makes Buku money. OK. And, you know, Rich man, family man has two beautiful children. Smokin hot wife. But then, like, oh, now some kind of tragedy strikes then. Bye, Dad.
Ok. I'm picturing Chris Pie. Of course you are. That's your ultimate man. I have a hetero man crush on Chris Potter. What can I say? What if it is like a piece of pie? Like, well, he has to survive because he's in moonwalker. Well, I mean, is Jason really alive? I think he's a Herrman are original. But anyways. OK. So he survives. What's this accident?
Is it like aliens launching small meteorites at the Earth? It just wipes out his family. That could be a possibility. It's just an orbital bombardment.
The intercept transmission. That there is an on there was there is going to be an attack on the earth. And do we want it sent into like the next area? Like so we do like this or Florida or. Sure. Let's go to Florida, because what else could fucking go wrong in Florida?
It has, because we have to keep a lid on it. Otherwise we have to explain why nobody in the previous movie that's a sequel to this ever talked about. He hasn't moved that time. Aliens invaded the Earth. So it's a secret mission and he's got nothing to live for, so he's the right man for the job. So why do they send him up into space to fight the aliens?
I mean I mean, I'll be the only way unless aliens came to Earth.
What if we have enough warning ahead of time that the aliens are coming? So our present has us build a wall.
Continue. That's all I got to say.
But they only do three miles of the wall.
It's every miles of a like three meter tall wall, arrogant.
And it's just floating alongside the International Space Station.
And they give them a space go just like you hold this wall. Under no circumstances do you let anybody come over. He has to have some ragtag crew, so. Space shuttle mission. Elon Musk.
Yeah. Blake, I must be watching your thing.
Well, if we make it. Elon Musk. But like, it's sexy. Elon Musk.
Like, can it be that weird fucking name that named its child?
It's Elon Musk's child with the symbols for a name or some.
Played by Ryan Gosling lingoes. Do you like Ryan Gosling? But we'll go with that is like because what if he dies? I'd be OK with Ryan Gosling dying if he could take Jared Little with him. I'm fine with that. Even more lo and behold, D Bag is a villain.
He betrays the earth. He tries to sell out the earth to the aliens. And he does some kind of crazy method acting in the process like it's constantly betraying all of his co-stars for no reason.
But, you know, he. But instead of like he doesn't know what's actually happening because he spent three months in the desert meditating.
Jared Leto, his character. I mean, I know in real life you did that. But but what if his character that that, too, is his character? Well, he doesn't know he's in a movie. Jared Leto playing Jared Leto, selling out the Earth to aliens. We convince them the aliens are invade the earth. He has a contact. Somebody is recruiting him. Training tournament, a double agent. He doesn't know they're just another actor. I have no idea what the plot of this movie is other than we have a wall in space that Chris Pyne and Ryan Gosling are trying to defend, even though he might go round it.
I mean, and Joe, he's just trying to betray us all. Is that supposed to be a link to this movie?
All we care about is selling millions, like their refusal to go to war.
I really hope the mike's picked up that go out. This is such a ridiculous already go plot line was through like a buddy cop movie in space.
So we have plans to make this wall bigger. It hasn't got name bigger.
But Jared Leto has the plans to the fully built wall, which is still only three meters tall.
But it goes all the way around the Earth and he. He sells them to the aliens gang galactic knowledge, because I feel like that's some bullshit that he would do is like I. I'm so cool that I know everything. I feel like that. Just be something he will do.
They promise to elevate him to a higher state, but he has to deliver it to Jupiter first. So it's a wild chase.
They say, boys, good to begin with, stupid.
You don't know what whatever.
It's just some, like, rhyme thing that kids say in, like, elementary school.
Okay, so they have a wild space shuttle chase through the solar system at breakneck speed and have to take some Y turns. They lose a few hubcaps making these turns. And we just I know the shooting age. Honestly, I feel like we roll down the windows on the space shuttle and they're shooting at each other.
Did this just turn into Fast and Furious? Yes. Fast and Furious space race. Yeah. Starring Jason State as the baby. It could be the sequel. Well, my God, this is like eight movies and one now.
Rise of Moonwalker is a sequel to Breech Baby. They knock out the windshield to the space shuttle. You seal them out? No, they hit the brakes real hard and launch breech. Baby feet burst at the other space shuttle. Oh, and he kicks his way.
Yeah. And so Breech Baby ends up helping save the day because it's smashed through the window. First, he keeps Jared Leto on base. They were chasing Jared Leto, right?
Yeah. He literally Jared Leto play in Jerilyn.
It kicks your letter in the face and steals is. I feel like you have like some kind of like stupid jump drive with all the plans on it. Yeah.
Around his neck. The symbol of their customers. There's puka shells next to it.
A string made of him. Yeah.
Ok, so he's still that and then like he breech baby flips and launches off a Jerry that space back to the others.
Is that OK? Is he no longer reach baby people?
I'm just still picturing after re large breech baby at the shuttle. It's not the force of his like kick gets through. He's just outside the space shuttle with his tiny little baby feet. Just like boot camp bicycle kicking it.
But like it's Jason Statham and B.B. form. So obviously he's polished on so yet so launches back out of the space shuttle from Gillette, a space than he is like I'm supposed to be this all my being in is crying because he's not so powerful, because the alien lied to him just to get try and get the plans they have faced by the babysitter let up.
Now, because the video and when somehow he knocks out breech baby.
So we got bring this back to Moonwalker, OK, which we've never given him a real name, but we'll just go with Moonwalker, the astronaut played by Chris Pyne, to get into a fistfight on top of the space shuttle with no space suits. It makes no sense. Jared Leto and Chris Pyne, OK, and they're just slugging it out, huffing and puffing. Just no real vote, no recognition that there's a vacuum of space. Just nothing. It's just the climb around top of the space shuttle. And then I'll nowhere like this giant like star destroyers type alien vessel shows up. They got Jerry Lettow signal.
Doesn't say, what the fuck are you guys doing.
Yeah they they bring him in and take everybody except Jerry let a prisoner.
Do they just leave Jerry letter floating in space. No, he's their guy. I was just that I was thinking like oh well we used you to get the plan so like it. Here you go.
What if they actually do elevate him to a higher level existence? But it's more than he bargained for.
And he just he just exploded two million pieces of stardust. Yeah.
And then that that's his final form of achievement is that he becomes the stars, but then they take breech baby, and they put him in like a fake womb artificially. Just him because of what, Terminator super soldier.
Ok. But so then it turns into just Jason Statham. I got it. So then then they take Moonwalker and they do some alien shit to him, you know, probes and whatnot. Major twist here. He ends up back on earth and at the fucking dream. That's such a cheap twist.
He wakes up, his wife and kids are still dead. They're dead.
What? What if he's just been any fugue state, the entire movie after he killed his wife and kids? Oh, that's good. Except it turns out it's still the same actress and like kids playing the part. But then when you, like, see family photos on the wall, he's not in. It's not even his family. He's just crazy and thought they were his family. And then he murdered them. I like where this is going. This is so this is so bad. It's an amazing way, of course. And then Breech Baby shows up on the crime scene, breech baby as his baby plateau's breathing is his baby. What about if it's not breech baby? But the date of the family is breech. McCabe, before he became breech baby and moonwalker escapes and goes into hiding as a hermit in the woods. And that's it to the next. This is a bride of moonwalker. But it also sets a breach. I think we just need a fucking masterpiece. The breech baby cinematic universe or the moonwalker? It's probably the moonwalker cinematic universe. This ended up a lot more amazing than I was expecting it to be. I wouldn't go that far. Shut up. It is. It's ridiculous. I love it, but I let it go. Amazing. Okay. Yeah, that that is the rise of Moonwalker guys. Summer blockbuster. Help us make our dreams come true. I gotta be us. I'd rather see breach. Hasn't moonwalker.
But can we all agree that bright moonwalker is the real showstopper here?
Yes. I'm also a big fan of Griffith Imagi. Okay. It's time to start wrapping up the show. All right. You got some urban dictionary for us? Oh, I've got Batman inspired Urban Dictionary. I love it.
So Urban Dictionary definition number two for Batman, because the first one just says Bruce Wayne night. But you know who it is. Well, it says Batman, an act during sex where the male shines a flashlight in the air while the female is confused. The myth says to the bat cave and Ramsden to her act. My God.
Hee hee hee hee hee hee hee hee hee hee hee hee hee hee hee hee.
Is that the quote? Is it to the bat cave? Hee hee hee hee hee hee. Oh, that was just me. That wouldn't be creepy.
Ok, so the second one that I've got is called Bat Manning. When did you get the phone? I got no clue. It was terrible, terrible guessing like Urban Dictionary. The act of taking someone out to the movies and then walking through an alley and shooting them.
Ok.
That's that's pretty darn he. That's just what anybody wants to hear.
Under any circumstances, I would challenge you to come up with any appropriate situation to make that sound in the bedroom. Oh, yeah. Yeah, no.
Okay. Yeah, that's going to be all for this episode. Don't forget to check out Breech Baby, starring Jason Statham in theaters April 7th, 2023. If you like the show, please subscribe and give us a rating or review wherever you find your podcasts.
And be sure to check us out on our Web site at My Kajiggers, dot com or Facebook page at My Kajiggers Podcast, where you guys can let us know what movies you want us to watch and review and let us know if there's any games you guys want us to play or tell them how much you like our new fucking movie or tell us how we could possibly make the rise of Moonwalker any worse by Polizia baffling to.
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