Ep. 21: Lay Your Hands on My Staff
Dan & Emily talk about the comic book movie Shazam and play a game with song lyrics.
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Hey, guys, welcome back to our first episode. After quarantine, we're talking about Shazam! I'm excited.
I have to like. This is our first episode. Like first full up. Set back. Yeah. It's gonna be a little shorter because we're given What the Fuck News. But right now, just cause I'm trying to the episode shorter and cut down how much time I have to spend editing to Waimea. But yeah, it should be an exciting show. I love Shazam. It's all my therapy movies of 2019. I can't wait to hear your thoughts on it.
I'm ready to give them. But first, I want to give you some animal updates. Go for. Mantels. Vikings. No, I love them. But Bronx is on the table. But no, I don't remember if I talked about this in the mini episode, but we took Bronx to the vet to get his updated shots. Bronx has turned six in April. Scotty turned three in May. And Fehn second birthday is until December. But Bronx got his, you know, yearly vaccinations and this fat fuck weighed in at 14 pounds.
He doesn't look that big, but he's a big boy. Yeah, he really doesn't look like a bad ass.
I mean, the vet said that his weight was normal. She said that that was a healthy weight for him, which shocked both of us because he's a big cat, like he's a long boy.
Yeah, he's proportionally big. It's not like he's just a small cat with a huge gut.
Well, when he lays down like it all, kind of. He's not Garfield. Not yet. Not yet. He acts like it. Well, he acts like we don't even see him. But Scotty has weighed in at seventy five pounds. She'd big girl and she needs to lose some weight. Like she's overweight, but she's pretty. She pretty girl. We're not trying to fat shaming.
And Finn has finally filled out and like we can't feel his ribs anymore, which is awesome. And I mean all the animals are doing well.
They play. They fight. Bronx still hate everybody, but in mammals, they're doing good. And I thought her bio would want that little update because we had some birthdays.
Yeah. And they were on our mini episode a little bit. Just kind of Tapan around in the background.
Right now, I'm surprised Scouting's just like in her paws, but I'm sure here and another about 20 minutes she'll be scooting her ass. Yeah. And she'll be having to show me her toys. Show me that.
Do you will explain that one.
Yeah. So way before we ate then we wanted a way to brush Scotty's teeth or make it easier for like, you know, she can, you know, clean her teeth herself with fun and so on Amazon we got her this toy and really didn't think anything of it when we bought it because it's got a flat base so they could put, like, their paws on it while they chewed on the elongated part.
We get it in and it looks like a fucking butt plug, but plug made it with a pineapple. Yeah, it's got little. I don't know. You call them spines, I guess. And you get it like Darney toothpaste, like you put it in the little grooves and they just chew on it.
She didn't chew on it the correct way. And so it just stopped you in time because all she wanted to do was chew on the bass. And now earlier today, she had it so far shoved in her mouth like she deep through that shit. It was gross. And her and Finn fight over a dildo shaped toy. It is a toy, a toy disclaimer. It is a toy.
Many people would classify dildo as a toy, a dog toy.
It is a duck to a all you have on the pets. Yeah, for now. All right.
Before we go into talking about Shazam, I'm going to do a little quick summary of the movie just so everybody is up to speed. So if you haven't seen the movie, spoiler warning, 14 year old orphan Billy Batson is a loner who spends his life running from foster homes in a seemingly hopeless search for his lost mother while still adjusting to his newest foster family. Billy finds himself magically transported by the dying wizard Shazam. The Wizard has spent centuries searching for a pure and worthy successor to take his place protecting the world from demonic forces like the monstrous personifications of the seven deadly sins. Choosing Billy as his last hope, Shazam grants him the wisdom of Solomon. Strength of Hercules. Stamina of Atlus. Power of Zus. Courage of Achilles and Speed of Mercury. Now, whenever Billy says Shazam. He has transformed into a mighty unnamed superhero together with his new foster brother and best friend, Freddie. Billy must learn to harness his powers. Billy soon comes in conflict with the evil Dr. Savanah, who was himself rejected by the wizard as a child and has joined forces with the seven sins in order to exact his revenge. But Billy's new powers aren't enough, and he learns he can't keep going through life as a loner by embracing his foster family. He finds new strength and stops. Dr. Savanah. Okay, so since you're new to the movie, would you think you're jealous?
I didn't like the movie. You really didn't like it. It was okay. Okay. It really wasn't my favorite. By any means. By I mean, I watched I wanted to know what happened next. And if they ever came out the second one, I would probably watch it. I don't know what it like. I didn't like it, but it wasn't like it wasn't terrible by any means.
Yes. This movie actually caught me by surprise. Yeah. Since I was a DC movie.
Yeah. The DC movies. I'm just so burnt out on the DC Cinematic Universe.
I know it's definitely been it's better than some of the ones that came out in the past. Reason besides Wonder Woman. I loved Wonder Woman too.
But I don't know, there's just something about this movie. It's lighter, but it's also got feels like it's funny and silly and has an emotional core to it, too.
It wasn't like it did run through a lot of emotions and I didn't like that. And I liked that. He finally came to realize, like after, you know, finding his mom and realizing, like, he has a real family in the foster family that he has.
Yeah. So one thing that happens in the movie is he tracked down his long lost mother with the help of his new foster siblings. And he goes and introduces himself thinking, I finally have my mom back and she just doesn't want to be in bowl. It's so heartbreaking. That's my favorite scene in the movie. It's so sad. Like she basically just tells this poor kid who's been searching or her for years. It's not a great time for me.
Yeah. Those really harsh. But I think it really put into perspective like they tried telling him, like she did not come looking for you. Which is sad and that's all. But I think it was just like I think he needed that realization, though, too, because otherwise he kept driving away.
What they say he went through 20. He ran away twenty three times, something ridiculous like that. And he's been through multiple foster families.
I love the portrayal these foster parents like so often in kids movies, which I would argue this is more of a kid's movie than an adult superhero movie. So often the parents are either just there to get in the way or be stupid or comedic. Really? Yeah, these are really good.
They're models of genuine people and they want to be there and they're like and they're very accepting. Like, we know you had a hard life. We're not going we're not trying to be X, Y and Z to you. But we are here to give you a warm, loving home.
Yeah. And they they say they were both foster kids. They've taken upon themselves to be gone. Was it six foster kids in their home in this movie? I don't know. I think it's a nice, healthy portrayal of an alternate type of family.
I mean, not to make it sad, but like foster families are always like that. And I'm glad they went with a happy year out because not foster families aren't always happy. And it's a it's a sad reality.
What did you think about the kids in this movie?
They all have their own unique quirks. And I like that they were different ages and different backgrounds and they weren't.
I guess this the same type of I don't want to be like around for this, I guess, race. They were different kids with their own unique personalities, but they didn't see it like that. They saw each other as family. They're all incredibly smart kid.
Yeah, they're smart kids. They know them are just like the stereotypical troubled child, doubtlessly come from difficult backgrounds. But they seem to be happy and they're loved and happy.
I mean, along with each other. The oldest one in the foster family was going to. Well, what college it was? I don't know. It was a really good school in California. It was like one of the hardest schools to get into. And she got accepted and she was sad that she had to leave her family.
Yeah, well, two of my favorite scenes, one of them is when Billy tells was his name Fred Freddie Reddick, that his he has a. Face that makes him look like. What did you call it? Like he's scheming. Yeah. He has a face that always makes him look like he's scheming. And right after he says that the security guard looks like it looks like you're up to no good.
Yeah. I love that actor that plays Brady Jack Dillon Greater. He's. He was in it. That's why he looked familiar. He was the hypochondriac.
Ok. Cause I looked up the actor, that plane Shazam. And I was like I knew I recognized him from it. He played he was on the show, Chuck. Right.
He's also the voice of Flynn Rider and tangled in I fucking love that movie. And his character and Tangled is great. And I kind of saw that in this movie, too.
And him and Freddy, you really play well off each other. They do. But also like Brady and Billy. I want to see more of that actor. And like he was a little short changed this movie. But he's really good in the party then.
Yes. Why? My other favorite scenes is, you know, their 14 year old boys. And, you know, he turns in to what is you like mid to late 20s. Yeah. Supposed to be early 30s, maybe early, early 30s. They go into the strip club for the first time. Oh. And they also drink beer. Yes. When? Right after the.
The night that this happened. And he finds Freddy and they go to this convenience store and it gets robbed. And so they fight the bad guys and they walk out with beer. They bullshit could drink of it, spit it out immediately. And one of them goes, that tastes like actual vomit. Yeah. Accurate.
Well, that's one thing I love about this movie is that I find it very realistic as to be portrayal of how a kid would act if he just suddenly had all this power. And for a good portion of the movie, he's now fighting crime.
He's just screwing around, which I mean, I would, too, if I was our age. And I'm like, oh, super PACs.
And I also love, like, they're just trying to throw out the limits of his powers. So during that convenience store robbery, he get shot by the bad guys and then they're like, Weinmann, we don't know if the suits bulletproof or your bruel and they just straight shooting him, shoot him in the face.
Yeah. Is it really easy to just shoot him in the face? Usually it's just like he questions it. What questions? As per second lingoes. Yeah. Shoot me in the face and then I'll like the YouTube videos that they do. Yes. So I mean, there's great scenes in it, but like I don't know, I just didn't land for you. Yeah. Yeah.
I, I think also the I don't know if it's just DC and their special effects, but the special effects, I didn't they weren't hooking me.
I guess they're a little dodgy but demons they were cool but they could've been better. They could've been better and they can just blend into each other.
If you spend enough time you can be like, okay, this one's this and this one. That's and they all it's a general look and you like it back. That stood out one another.
Bronx is trying to get into our set box. Oh, there he goes. So Bronx. So we have a little box so we keep all of our stuff in and I put Dan's bag on top of it because of the dogs on the couch. And Bronx is climbing on everything and you'll be there. Cats can do work. That's going to be if I, I set. Yeah. Anyways, back to the movie.
This is one those movies. You said it caught me by surprise. I just went saw in the theater and I see it three times in theaters because I just it keeps me laughing. There's enough humour. Jast threw out like the shoot him in the face.
I, I did like that because I mean, it is a it's a kid in a man's body and so they're planer with it. And I like all the cut scenes, like when they're making the YouTube videos of him testing his powers and the one where they stick him in a box and he likes it on fire.
That was good the whole time. Brett easily throwing him curveballs and telling them he's testing one power and then into testing a complete different power, trying to set him on fire.
Another one scene that I like, it goes back to the ship club. It's when they are in the cave and they're trying to figure way their way back out of there and they're like, how do we get out of here?
Like. And I don't remember what exactly he did, but they ended up like he had to like, think of a door or something, a door to go somewhere. Yeah.
And so, you know, the house, they end up back in a strip club with all of the kids and they're like running out of it. And Darla's eyes are being shielded by Mary.
And she's like, I want to see what's going on. She's like, you're too young.
And then Freddy comes out the last as the last one.
And he's been hobnobbing with people is like they're so nice and.
And oh, yes, they have clear cut issue if you don't want that glitter.
Well, I also love the Mary. Calls out villages. Really? This is the first place you thought to transport.
He's a 14 year old boy.
Exactly. What do you think about the bill? Not the demons, but doctors of Bonnot.
There wasn't a whole lot of development on him. It was just him as a boy. And then him as an adult. And he's so I mean, he's screwed up from his childhood, obviously. But like, it was just straight to the point that he was equal.
He's very delightfully evil. Like, so unrepentantly.
Is that Stanley to cheer whatever that's actually marched wrong, which I love.
Sometimes he plays good guys like Kingston, but more often than not, he plays this type of villain or he just choose the scenery like he just sometimes to really enjoy.
Sometimes I can't distinguish the two of them. But like I did, I only looked up the actor that played the Shazam, Carrie, Billy, the older Billy.
So he is very one-dimensional as an adult. But you can also see why he's so I skip this in the summary. But the movie actually starts in the 70s where he's just a little boy. He's not asking to be transported to this cave and he suddenly finds itself McCabe and the wizard is testing him. And then into telling him he's not good enough. And then life is just screwed from there.
What's sad about it is like he's being told by his older brother and his father how much of a disappointment he is and blah, blah, blah. And I liked why didn't like this is all sarcastic. I like that. The same actor is the father in the 70s and he didn't age at all. Yeah. And because it said today. So I'm going to say I assume the present was like 2000, 17, 18, 19. Yeah.
That actor also played Lex Luthor. His father on Smallville didn't really and was also a dick. Perfect. He's very good at that kind of role.
I like that. The bread, it just made me laugh because the brother obviously aged but other didn't.
That's what happens when you get paralyzed from the waist down. You just stop, agent.
I did find a hilarious, though, when he took his brother and just threw him through the window.
That's what I mean by that. He's just delightfully evil. He's just a lot of movies that would just ramp up to that. Maybe a slow decline. No. As soon as he gets his powers, he's like. First thing I'm doing. I'm going to my dad's office and throw my brother out of a high rise window.
I do have to give him credit, though, because even though he was shot like basically like verbally abused as a child, he turned into like he was a doctor. He was a an incredibly smart person, very successful.
Well, one thing I just remembered going back to I just love little jokes in this movie. So early on in the movie, the youngest it Darlow discovers that Billy Shazam. And they're so afraid that, look, she's just going to spill it to everybody. They convince her you have to keep the secret what a good sister would do.
I actually thought the super sweet because I mean, early in the movie, he called her. He told her, you're not my family. And it made her right up, say. And I think knowing that he's like accepting me as his sister, that she could keep the secret.
But what I love is Meely after that, not knowing his string. Billy has ripped a doorknob off the door. Oh, Freddy has the doorknob to darlings like, you know, I also good sister. How do you fix this door?
And she just kind of looks at and she's like, what is she like. Seven maybe. Oh when he rescues Mary from the truck getting ready to slam into her and he's just being all fucking weird and he's just making it worse and worse about like cause before he accepted his foster family. Right.
And he is just like Tom Air, blah, blah, blah.
And I think she knew then boom, like the scene where their feet like they figured it out, like in Darla's like, I'm so glad you guys figure this out like you knew.
Yeah. I'm a good son. I'm going to get. I love this scene because he's such a douche. We'll call him Shazam. He doesn't really have a superhero movie or a superhero name in this movie. And he's trying to see if he does is Captain Sparkle Fingers.
I prefer thunder crack.
The ongoing, joka bready trying to give him different names and they're all terrible, but yeah, he's trying to give Mary Bice and she's distraught about having to leave her family. He's just like, well, it's like Ghandi said, you got to look out for numero uno.
Like he said that. Agree. Disagree. Yeah, it's good to know.
And she's like, no, I like the ending when Shazam came in at lunch and then Superman super man comes in and Freddy, like, almost shits himself.
Yeah, I love that would've been greater. Kappel could have been in it. I love Henry Cavill. That was right around the point when Caballes future in the DC movies became a little less certain.
That's OK because The Whicher you ever watch the you get on Tick-Tock? Probably as much as I do. Did you ever see the videos where it's like all these girls are like, Oh yeah. I only watch this show for the plie.
And they say the plot. And it's all the hot guys on the show. That's me in The Witcher. Actually, I really did like the witch are not going to like what's really good.
Henry Cavill. Oh, my God.
Looking at this movie, it's definitely movie. I would have also loved as a kid just because it's got the whole wish fulfillment thing, like what kid doesn't want to magically turn into a superhero?
And at the same time looking at as an adult. But there's plenty of things I love in this movie that I think are funny about a parent. Be like an usher that need to be in this movie. For example, when Shazam the Wizard wants to give Billy his powers, he tells them, lay your hands on my staff.
He just like groups like let's go and go over kid's head. But it's still. Yeah. I mean, when I heard it, I really am. But I think it was like intentional for him to say that. Like that. Yeah.
And like the demons are, they're kind of scary. But they're like little bit scary. Like it's nothing the kid couldn't handle. But it's just Syria now. Goose bumpy. Yeah. Oh, but Shazam himself is kind of a dick, the wizard like. Yeah. The way he treats young doctor supporta. There's no compassion. He's just like, are you my champion retests? No.
And like how many people he went through. And like, you have to realize that not everybody is going to be pure of heart.
Well, and you get the feeling you didn't settle on Billy because he finally found the one that was pure.
He's just like, well, these were his options now. Yeah. This was his last meal. And he had to do something about it.
I also like how belittling when he's offered the power he let out, said, I'm not who you're looking for. I'm I'm not perfect. I don't think anybody is. I think that kind of speaks to his character as well with why he is a good choice. Because he knows his flaws. Yeah. And he doesn't want the power. Yeah. I mean, he enjoys it quite a bit once he has it, but he's not craving.
Yeah. The end where. Okay. So he extracted the orb out and then he's like so they all turn, they also grab the sap say Shazam and the siblings all turn into super heroes, which is kind of cool because now it's all the seed to build again. Yeah. Here's a guy with this. Oh, he actually extracted the orb. And he's he plays the joke and he's like pretending to be drawn into the evil power. And he's like, no, I'm just kidding. Yeah.
I like the whole like, it doesn't even tempt them at all. No. There's also some bad ass moments in this movie. There's right after he has his heart broken by his mom, he has to go save the day. And there's just great shot where he leaps off a roof, yells, yes, zamon mid air and just turned into the superior flies off. That's cool. That was a really good shot. There's also one in the carnival at the end where the final battle is, even as a boy, he's walking kind of bad ass towards the villain, says Shazam. And also need this man again.
Mm hmm. I like cause he knows that every time he says it, he'll switch back and forth. And so he uses that to his advantage. Yeah. Which I think is a great tactic because, I mean, people don't understand because when the lightning bolt shakes down, it turns like blind everybody and like there's smoke. Oh, fuck to you. Yeah. The kid's smart. Mm hmm.
Another funny part I like about this movie is just this running joke in the background of the movie. There's a mall Santa that is having the worst day of his life. Everywhere he goes, the doctor Savannah attacks and just starts wrecking shit until by the end of the movie, he's like at this carnival and it gets wrecked. And then he is interviewed by a reporter and he just starts cussing.
Cussing up a storm is playing in the background of the family dinner. Yes.
And they're just ignoring it like it's such a small part of the movie, but it's a on. Becca is having the worst day of his life because all those things happened in the same day.
Do they? Yeah, they do. Yeah. Yeah. They also say, well, not really.
I think you might want to seeing a sequel or I want to see more of the kids in the superhero form and seeing like what they do to keep the sins at bay. And if there's anything else that they will do as their superpowers, maybe DC can actually step up their graphics for once.
But I don't know. It was it was an okay movie. I don't know. We'll watch it again.
Maybe you recently I just throw on. But if a sequel were to come out, I would probably see it just because I want to see more of Shazam, older Billy and Freddy.
I want to see more of Billy. I as a hope. As a kid. Yes. I hope that doesn't get lost because sequels, the tendency is you gotta have more. Action. Yeah. Bigger threat. I really like that actor. I. I want to see more of him in other movies, but I don't want him to get short changed in the sequels cause I think the core of that character comes from the. Ketzel. Also, they are making a sequel. Oh, they are.
And the plans for future movies beyond the sequel. But first, his arch nemesis is gonna get a stand alone movie. And that is going to be the rock as black Adam. So early on in the movie, Shazam demonstrates to Billy right before using the powers. They once gave these powers to someone else and they chose wrong. And he became a villain. OK, well, in the comics, the character's name is Black Adam. It basically looks like the adult Shazam, except his caching is black and Golden State, red and gold. The rock has been attached to this role for probably a decade now.
And he's like Adam, like 80 o m a d a. OK.
But he's always been excited about the role if the movie just never happens. Ah, but this movie did well enough. It's getting the sequel. That would be something I would be interested in seeing the black Adam's gonna get his own stand alone movie and then eventually they're going to clash. I think that be really cool. Yeah, I'm looking forward to that, especially because the rock seems excited enough about one day maybe getting to play this character. I'm really looking forward to it.
I think I would see that because that would spark my interest is I look at drama. I like background stories.
I would also look to see Superman pop up the Shazam sequel just cause I think it would be a great father. Pick your example or Billy.
Yeah, because they have similar powers. See, I wasn't actually expecting. I know as a DC movie, but I wasn't actually expecting, you know, Superman to actually show up because I thought Shazam was just a spoof of Superman. And then I got to thinking, like, OK, well, it is an actual DC comic, so I don't know why it would be like a knockoff version. Right. But basically it is.
Yeah, it was originally owned by DC that just kinda acquired it. Interesting. But yeah, that should wrap up our thoughts on Shazam. In the spirit of Shazam, we're gonna cross over into the land of the music app Shazam and identify some songs and artists.
Yeah. Right. You ready for this game? I am. So I actually brought this up today. We were supposed to do this back, wait for quarantine. And I have a game where I play with Danna's. Dan gets his bands and sometimes Dan is really good at this.
So then I was like, okay, what about if I monotone read lyrics to songs to snippets of them.
And Dan tried to guess them. And it kind of turned into this. So I'm kind of excited to see how this goes.
I think if we get either the artist or the song, that should be good enough. I'm not doing very good at this because I'm not very good with song lyrics. I usually make it my own.
Hmm. How many do you have? OK. So I have seven. So I'll go first. OK. Are you ready. Ready. Let's play. Give it to me baby. Nice and slow. Climb on top. Ride like you in a rodeo. You ain't never heard a sound like this before. Cause I ain't never put it down like this. As soon as I come through the door she get to pullin on my zipper. It's like it's a race.
Who could get undressed quicker? Isn't it ironic how erotic it is to watch him and had Henry thinking about that ass after I'm gone? It sounds so familiar. It is familiar. This is this was the first song I thought of, too, when, like, even when I made my first one. I am drawn blank. A sound so familiar. So I'm guessing it's a country song. No, that would be awesome. Garth Brooks is a Garth Brooks. I fucking wish. So when this song came out, I was probably 13 and I never paid attention to lyrics until, you know, now reading these lyrics. Holy fucking shit. Because I would sing this song as long as it take to the candy shop by FDA. Did you really know that now is it. I don't know. Mantle lyrics in Song Me as an artist. Some of these you know, some of the ones that I have, I there's one I hope you get to see. I'm hoping you get mine.
Are they suck. OK, let me ask, are they songs that I actually know. Maybe. OK. There's a chance. OK.
Ok. So my first one look at this photograph every time I do it makes me laugh out it. Our eyes get so red. And what the hell is on Joey's head.
Photographed by Nickelback. Did you make that one intentionally easy? Kind of. OK. What's your next one? Now I got the. I got the gun. You got the brew. You got two choices of what you. Can do. It's not a tough decision. As you can see, I can blow you away or you can ride with me. I said, I'll ride with you if you can get me to the border. The sheriffs after me for what I did to his daughter. I did it like this. I did it like that.
I did it with a football bat. Alan does even sound familiar. No fucking way. I told you. I told you. This isn't a song. Lyrics. Make that what basis? What do you want? I don't this time. It's on my head now. Okay. What? It's Paul Revere by Beastie Boys. I don't know that Beastie Boys song. Really, it's from their sabotage album. I'm pretty sure I know sabotage and their sabotage. I told you I'm not gonna do that. This is fun. I'm through with standing in line to clubs. I'll never get in. It's like the bottom of the night and I'm never going to win. Are these all Nickelback songs? No, they're not all Nickelback songs.
Isn't this rock star right now? Go back. Yes. I, I fucking hate Nickelback. People can light me up for it too. I don't care. I do not like Nickelback and I.
I don't mind Nickelback. I don't seek them out. But if it's plain it doesn't bother me. Like I swear to God, if they're all Nickelback I promise they're not all Nickelback. You promise me. Promise me. I promise you that. Oh, Nicolette.
Good. So this one you probably won't get because. Yeah, well, when the lights go up, I want to watch the way you take the stage by storm, the way you rap those boys around your finger. Go on and play the leader cause you know, it's what you're good at. The low road for the fast track. Make every second last.
No.
I know you won't get this, Graw. Now, none of these are country songs. Sounds pretty country. No, it's a little emo trashy. What is it, dear Maria? Count me in my all time low. That's a fake band. You're a fake band.
I am so high I can hear heaven. Oh, but heaven. No heaven don't hear me. And they say that a hero can save us. I'm not going to stand here and wait.
I hate you. I really do. That's Hero by Chad Kroeger and some other guy.
I was expecting to say Nickelback, but you're correct, there is hero by a Chad Kroeger featuring Josie Scott. Technically not Nickelback.
You ruin this game to end just like burglary.
The definition of jacking in when illegally armed. It's called packing. Shoot a mother fucker in a minute. I find a good piece of pussy and I go up in it. So if you're at a show in the front row, I'm going to call you a bitch or dirty ass ho. You'll probably get mad like a bitch is supposed to, but that shows me slut.
You're compose too. This one sounds really familiar. It should interview it. Yes. Go on. Start a countdown. As I say, if you did not get this today because this is your favorite fucking song. Now, if there isn't. Why do you like it? Did you say all that surprising me? That is not your favorite song. No, I just like saying cat.
I should have Neriman. Are you ready for the next one?
No, because he knows fucking something. John Cougar Nickelback. Go ahead though.
The credit artist is not Chad Kroeger or Nickelback. Like a gift from the heavens. It was easy to tell. It was love from above. Like it saved me from hell. Should fire in her soul. It was easy to see how the devil himself could be pulled out of me at Santana and Chad Kajiggers on that. So head a feature, Jeff. The song is into the night. I really hate you. I warned you earlier today. My goal was to make you jump this table.
Ok. Which is excellent. Now I can see that we've fallen apart from the way that it used to be. Yeah, no matter the distance, I want you to know that deep down inside of me.
That's all the letters I get. Yeah, because, like, it's only like a few versus. And then the chorus and I can't say the chorus. Say it again.
Now I can see that we've fallen apart from the way that it used to be. Yeah. No matter the distance, I want you to know that deep down inside of me.
Tell me why. I know, had a day. Tell me why not them, but me.
Now tell me why I never won a he.
You said you say I'm running this game.
Won it that way.
Yeah. That's what you get. I say I'm impressed. You think you've done every single one of these over.
I'm breaking free from these memories. Got to let it go. Just let it go. I've said goodbye. Set it on fire. Got to let it go. Just let it go. This is the one might be a little tougher for you. Say it again. I'm breaking free from these memories. Got to let it go. Just let it go. I've said goodbye. Set it on fire. Got to let it go. Just let it go.
Does it have anything to do? A Ted Kerchner, maybe. Chad Kroeger. I don't know. I don't know this one.
Let me go by Avril Lavigne featuring Chad Kroeger.
Is this when they were married? See, I don't know. That might be before. I don't know. I actually didn't know that one. Bug continuing the fucking trend here. I know you won't get lost. All right. You're right. I hope you get the artist on this one. The combustion mushroom people sitting around all day. Who can believe you? Who can believe you. Let your mother pray. Sugar. I'm not there all the time, you know. Some people. Some people. Some people call it insane. Yeah, they call it insane sugar. I play Russian roulette everyday. A man's sport with a bullet called life. Yes. Mama called life sugar. You know that every time I tried to go where I really wanted to be, it's already where I am cause I'm already there. I don't know it, sugar.
My system of a down is one of the really old songs. I don't know a whole lot of. System of a down. Are you ready for my last one. No, but go for it.
Strip club in a strip mall. Million ways to die. All the things we lost. The back seat of the sky. Growing up with eyes glued shut, wishing on a star. That's just a satellite. Driving in a car with broken tail lights.
Doesn't it gives us something to go check over Nickelback?
No, that is Salihi from all time low and you lose your All-Time Low band card.
That one actually surprised me. Yeah, I kind of set you up there. See, I actually I do love all time low, but I really haven't listened to a lot of their new stuff because, I mean, they've changed the way they've sounded.
And emo trash still likes old emo All-Time Low. All right. I don't think you ready for this last line?
No. I just want to point out I did five Chad Kroeger songs in a row just to set you up to not get an all time low song.
I hate you. Please get the fuck out. It doesn't give a fuck up. We go on to your next one. All right. Hey there. I know it's hard to feel like I don't care at all where you are and how you feel. Put these lights off as these wheels keep rolling on and on and on and on and on and on.
Now slow things down or speed them up. Not enough or way too much. And on and on and on and on. Are you and I gone and I can't make it on my own because my heart is in Ohio.
So cut my wrists and black my eyes so I can fall asleep tonight or die because you kill me. You know you do. You kill me.
Well, this sounds like it's from a fake band. It is real. Yes.
It sounds very emo. Yes. I don't know. Ohio's for Lovers by Hawthorne Heights. You're just throwing words together. There you go. It's not a real song. It's not a real band. I've never heard of either.
You really haven't heard of Health One right now?
Well, listen, the real music give a fuck out. See, I had completely different songs already picked out and then I went all walk this morning. How funny would it be if I just did a whole bunch of Chad Kroeger?
It's not it's funny to me. I'm kind of mad because the ones that I had picked out, like a couple of them and here were from my original list. But I had made this list and I found it right before we made our mini episode. I have no fucking clue where I put it. And that makes me really upset because I had some really good ones in there.
You got more of them, correct? I feel like I'm the real winner. No, you're not. I feel pretty satisfied with myself. You shouldn't have to play this again. It actually used my other song.
I know. I wish I could find the if I can find the list. I'll keep the ones that I didn't use in here.
Ok. You ready to wrap this up with Urban Dictionary?
I am. And nobody is ready for this. We're gonna fucking classic. We're going hard. We're going dirty.
Urban Dictionary. OK. And another poop one. No, not at all. So we've got three states. They're called Mississippi Hot Pocket. Tennessee Hot Pocket. And Kentucky Hot Pocket. And they all have different definitions.
Are you waiting for me? Guess I'm just the all kind of relate to each other, but they all taste the Kentucky one involve a sibling.
No, that's the only thing I think people in Kentucky would be doing. It's not Alabama. Kentucky. I don't know. You have to just tell me.
So Mississippi Hot Pocket is when a guy that is chewing tobacco spits in a woman's vagina for the purpose of lube and then fucks her fuck.
Jesus. You told me I wasn't ready.
So, OK. So I went on to Urban Dictionary Day and a lot of it is pertain to everything political that is going on in all the movements and whatnot. And so it is kind of hard. So on just a whim, I found one. And I'm like, okay, what the fuck does this mean?
And then Tennessee Hot Pocket said the same thing as a Kentucky Hot Pocket. So I had to find what Kentucky Hot Pocket was in the Mississippi Hot Pocket came up and the Tennessee Hot Pocket. And, well, Tennessee upchucking Kentucky. How popular? Literally the same definitions and is when is the name given to the act of defecating in a vagina? Why? Just look at this. OK. A Kentucky Hot Pocket is like when you take a poop in a girl's vagina. Why Kentucky? Why not call it a massive Mississippi hot pocket? Well, there's a Tennessee hot bucket, but that's with Cornin. The poop. Oh, my God. You're welcome. Oh, here's another one.
When a man shoots vagina and goes to pound town hall. You're welcome.
Rebecca Chinnery disturbs me. It leaves me wondering. Is this just people with too much time on their hands and they're making up definitions? Oh, of course somebody's actually doing this. All of the above. Oh, you're welcome. Welcome back to the podcast, people. It's been a while since we've had some disturbing urban dictionary, but yeah, that I'm very proud of myself. And that is what you get for your fucking songs. Well, next time I'll just have to buy more Nickelback. Please don't. It was hard finding more Nickelback. That wasn't Nickelback. Yeah, I was really hoping I would find an all time low song featuring Nickelback.
Oh, God. I'm so glad there isn't one. I don't think that would ever happen. We can only hope that it doesn't happen.
Yes, that's going to be all for Today Show yet. If you like the show. Give us a star rating and review and check us out at My Kajiggers dot com for all our latest episodes.
And if you also want to check us out on our Facebook at My Kajiggers Podcast, find us on any other podcast platforms and give us ratings if you can. Let us know what your thoughts are on Shazam, if you've seen it or any other movies you guys want us to review. And let us know what you think of the game or give us game suggestions. You really like to hear from you. That's going to be all for now. So. Bye, Felicia. Bye, Felicia.
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